Why we really give
When we give, we feel better about ourselves and the community at large. Giving creates lasting value for both the giver and recipient far beyond the monetary value of the gift. Giving fosters human connection and demonstrates our empathy for others. Clearly, giving is a positive action but where’s the science in these altruistic statements? Maria Konnikova, a psychologist and freelance writer for publications including the Scientific American, states that “people more often than not choose to incur costs themselves in order to allocate benefits to others; an irrational behavior by traditional economic standards if ever there was one.” So beyond just merely giving, individuals are willing to leave themselves worse off in the interest of others. Generosity must really be worth it.
Why would we as humans constantly engage in seemingly irrational behavior? Where does this innate human desire to give really come from? Basing her conclusions in a study by a group of psychologists from UC-Santa Barbara, Ms. Konnikova continues with, “it is better to always assume that we will in fact encounter the same partners over and over so it makes sense for us to behave generously to anyone we encounter.” Her explanation of the psychology of giving explains why people would “irrationally” help or give to anyone when it is not necessarily in their best interest. Giving is not a “one shot” game but rather, an ongoing activity with further implications. The full impact of giving cannot ever be fully measured but is certain to have beneficial ripple effects . In effect, giving is rationally planning for the future. This explanation implicates a better world where caring about others is more than an altruistic goal or just the right thing to do. Generosity becomes the status quo because giving creates a better community in turn benefiting the individual members of this community. People are more willing to help you out when you have given to them in the past. Using this logic, giving is effectively the best way to reach your own personal goals.
This seems like a purely self-interested explanation for giving but maybe improving our relative position in a given community is not the only reason we give. We often give to our family members and friends because it feels right and makes us happy; and we may honestly expect nothing in return. According to Ms. Konnikova “our brains seem to suggest that the joy of being a gift’s giver may eclipse that of being its recipient.” Now the psychology of giving is supported from multiple angles. Not only does being generous benefit our position in the community but also chemically makes us feel better. Giving is a scientifically beneficial action for the the giver. As they say, ‘tis better to give than receive.
We know that money and material things cannot ensure happiness. Rather, relationships and human interactions make us happy. According to Scott Crabtree, founder of Happy Brain Science, “the number one factor in our happiness is the quality of our relationships.” He encourages people to prioritize relationships and then reap the benefits of increased happiness across all aspects of life (including heightened productivity at work). Certainly, we all want to be happy but where exactly does giving play into happiness and relationships? The explanation is quite simple. Giving fosters our relationships allowing them to grow deeper and more meaningful. Also, generosity is an attractive trait that encourages the formation of relationships. Besides being an integral part of fulfilling relationship building, giving in itself makes us happy.
Another aspect of the psychology of giving is the kindness insinuated by the action of giving itself. A giver is generous but also kind. According to a 2007 study from Harvard, somebody who has just received a bit of kindness is elevated, happy, and grateful, making them likely to help someone else. The kindness aspect of giving helps to further explain the self perpetuating nature of gift giving. “Recipients of kindness generally want to keep paying it forward”, says James Fowler, professor of medical genetics and political science at the University of California, San Diego. By applying the transitive property, recipients of gifts (whom are also recipients of acts of kindness) will want to become the giver and repeat the elevating action of giving. Thus, the perceived kindness of giving plays a large part in the reciprocation of the act.
Giving improves our standing in the community, initiates good feelings in our brain, builds and fosters relationships and inherently exudes kindness. Any perceived disadvantages to giving are far outweighed by the many benefits. Being kind and generous is the best way to go through life in both a scientific and philosophic sense. Truly, the act of giving itself is the gift that just keeps giving.
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