Today I’m going to get into a territory which might — might — sound a little woo woo to you. But bear with me — this is something I’ve been aware of for a while, and it’s a direction of thought which I hope to develop moving forward.
Put simply, each of us is subject to the influence of internal rhythms — phases or cycles in our lives that are seemingly unaffected by external events (although of course they can be).
And while these rhythms may be influenceable to some extent, our best strategy is to recognise them and use them to our advantage: ride the waves, so to speak. …
We live in a meritocratic society, and as a consequence we are painfully aware that certain qualities make us seem important, or mark us out as special.
These include (but are not limited to):
- An understanding of social dynamics
And so on.
Now, since we want (indeed, need) other people to think well of us, we have a tendency to emphasise these and other qualities in our daily interactions.
Men in particular are prone to emphasising their intelligence and gravitas. After all — our unexpressed logic goes — if I am brainy and seem quietly in control that implies that I am someone who must be successful. And if other people think I’m successful then they will want to get to know me / will be attracted to me / will want to spend time with me. …
We all want ‘’things’, right?
Those ‘things’ vary. For you, they might be:
- A relationship
- Unlimited lovers
- A successful business
- A holiday
- A new job
- A new car
- A nice place to live
Exactly what you want will depend on where you are right now in your life, your values and what’s important to you.
But I can pretty much guarantee that you want something.
Unfortunately, though, life has a pesky way of not giving us unfettered access to the things that we want.
In fact, life can — at times — make it pretty damned difficult for us to obtain these things. …
Often, even when we have the best intentions mind, we find ourselves faltering in the moment.
Yes, we know that in theory we should:
- Approach that girl or guy we are attracted to
- Make that sales call
- Go and network with that intimidating-but-important individual who can help us with our business
And so on.
But we stand there agog, in the split second before the point where we should be taking action, and often end up doing nothing at all.
Why is this, and what can we do about it?
Quite simply, it’s one thing to know that a certain essential activity is what we should be doing. …
In storytelling the point at which everything comes together (for good or for ill) is called the climax, or the denouement.
It is at this crucial moment that all the unanswered questions that we, the audience or the readers, have about the progress of the characters are answered:
- Will the hero ‘get the girl’?
- Will the knight in shining armour rescue the princess?
- Will the warrior triumph over his adversary?
And so on.
When we’re at the cinema watching a movie we like the experience to last for some time (normally around 2 hours!).
That is, we prefer to stretch out the time between the opening of the story and its climax so that we are fully entertained and get our money’s-worth. …
If there’s one thing I can safely say that I have become VERY proficient at in the 40+ years I’ve been on this planet it is this: I am extremely good at NOT being able to make big decisions well.
Joking aside, the point is that we all have to make big decision from time to time.
It’s simply a part of life:
- Should I move to a different location?
- Get a different job?
- Get into a relationship?
- Get out of a relationship?
- Start a long and arduous project? …
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was this one:
‘Sometimes in life you’re ahead, and sometimes you’re behind. When you’re behind, don’t be envious of or hate those before you. Instead, focus and work hard. Your time will come’
I am now in my 40s, and I’ve resisted learning onerous and cliched ‘life lessons’ to the best of my ability. However, in spite of myself a couple of nuggets of what you might call ‘wisdom’ have accumulated. And perhaps the most important is that nothing lasts forever.
At first sight, that can seem like a somewhat depressing, even nihilistic idea, until you realise that it holds good for negative as well as positive states. …
You have a deep craving for security and it is slowly killing you.
How do I know this? Because I have the same thing — we all suffer with it to some extent.
After all, it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? As human beings — human animals — we are programmed by our deep, elemental need to, well, remain alive, to take care of ourselves.
And there’s no better way of taking care of ourselves than by seeking security.
It stands to reason, since when you are ‘secure’ then you are inviolate. Or so you think.
Security, of course, comes in many different forms. Here are just a few of…
In just a few days time there will be a full moon over the UK, an event that happens around once a month.
Traditionally a full moon is associated with madness — because apparently there’s something about that particular alignment of the planets which inculcates insanity.
That may sound like superstitious nonsense, but consider this — back when I was a student working in bars in Manchester in order to earn a living, I remember a bouncer (club security guy) I was friendly with telling me that he and his colleagues were always on their guard when it was a full moon because they knew from long experience that it was on such nights that ‘high spirits’ would erupt, often leading to arguments, confrontations and fights. …
They say there are only two things in life that are guaranteed: death and taxes.
Well, there’s a third — online trolling.
Here’s the deal — if you do anything at all to draw attention to yourself online (or in any other sphere, come to that, but I’m focused on the internet here) then you WILL receive criticism.
It’s just the way things are. If you post consistently on pretty much any platform (including this one) then in the end you will receive ‘feedback’ from the real world that might include: