Global Love School

A moderately explicit journey in the revolution of love

Not Familiar with Tamera? Read this first.

Sprinting down the beach in Zabujiera yesterday I shouted inside — YES! Thank life for this body, for this material existence, for the capacity to love and learn and live this magical journey! — Confusion and tension washed off my body by the cold waves at sunset; the internal tumult of the last days calmed as I remembered my self; yes, this center, knowing home on earth, is the place where love can well up inside and flow outward to my beloved, my friends, and the world. This is the clear energy to fuel my being in the great cultural and systemic turning of our time.

Global Love School 2017, Tamera, Portugal

The not-so-hidden agenda of the Global Love School at Tamera is to gather community leaders from around to world to be in love, make love, and deepen as allies from a point of such vulnerability and trust and mutual commitment that creating a more beautiful world might actually be possible. The content is revealing together the juicy terrain of our inner and relational worlds.

I offer a smattering of my experiences to you in the spirit of personal incorporation, to be witnessed by my beloved and my friends, and to share publicly as a way to inspire and evolve the story of humanity.


The fear of raping

Marie and I smiled at each other in layers of a secret language; let’s go make love at the panther blanket love space! Yum. Arriving, I felt unusually tired, with little eros, until dropping awareness into our bodies there was a hot edge of a molten earthly core of anger, immediately entangled with fear. Anger, for whatever reason, surfacing during sexuality is confusing. –I am afraid of raping you- I asked Marie permission, and slowly entered the anger, feeling the subtle blade’s edge between violence and strength that might live in every man today. The movements from the outside must have looked extremely gentle and patient. Internally, I wavered between the edges, eventually reach a point where a grey numb wall said –enough for now-

Sexuality in our partnership has become the everyday portal to access new levels of being human. This morning there were layers of awe for the natural beauty around us, playful smiles, deep anger, hatred toward the other people on the beach, staccato vibrations running up to our heads and through our feet, feeling naked and vulnerable and shy. Is it such a deep gift that we have a framework to understand these collective patterns, and a foundation of trust in each other that we feel safe enough to be so exposed.

The feeling of having raped 1000 women

I stand in the center of the Alhambra in the Tamera solar village, ~20 people sitting in a circle around me. It is the Forum, the world stage, a community practice of sacred theater to reveal the archetypical energies that move through us as individuals.

I’ve been on the edge of tears for the last days, uneasy in my body and unable to identify any story or cause of the discomfort. Standing in the circle, I suddenly have access to a depth of feeling that says — I have raped 1000 women — My stomach is full of lead, tears pour out of a chest that is squeezed by the guilt of having betrayed my beloved again and again over lifetimes.

I can reflect back on my personal history and say, wow! What a beautifully healthy person I am! And yet, standing in the center of a circle of witnesses, this layer of normality cracks through with the trauma of thousands of years of violence between men and women, of systems designed from fear, of the exhaustion of being human in a time when we are globally in transition to a life we can see but not quite live. I can see the personal fears from this lifetime as though from a great height, the immensity of the collective trauma putting my ‘own’ issues in perspective.

Ever since our relationship began, I have always had the subtle fear that Marie will leave. I have noticed myself unconsciously trying to be perfect, more caring, more helpful, less wounded, in order that she would not leave. In this moment of channeling collective pain, this fear, though it may not be gone, suddenly lost its power over my actions.

The crux, a breakthrough to inner conviction

We lay together as the light faded in the window, I asked Marie if she wanted a massage, then realized; actually, I am the one who needs to be touched. Being held after the intensity of the day was a revelation; I can be held, I can cry instead of having sex, and the woman won’t leave!

Weighty layers of conditioning began floating off my spirit. A shared image surfaced of disentangling my source anchor from Marie’s belly button and thrusting it back down to the center of the earth, to the point of conviction that I am here to evolve humanity into a system of love. That it would be too painful to do anything else, and yet I have downplayed my commitment and intensity to this purpose for fear of scaring off allies and lovers. I reached the point of the crucifixion, my belly cramped and my hands clenched, feeling that if I fully stepped into my role on earth I would be ostracized or killed.

Forum — the spirit of partnership

Marie went first, as she often does. Standing in the forum in the political ashram, her legs strong, her stance slightly wider than her shoulders, head up, hands open. I actually have no memory now what words she spoke; I simply remember the command she had of the group, the awed focus of 90 people seeing a woman own her sovereignty. My heart trembled with pride and the glorious challenge of growing together with such a being.

For two days I woke excited; is this my day for the forum?! Each day the dam level rose with a little more with material for sacred performance.

Those who are familiar with group work can attest that stepping into the center opens the possibility for the truly unknown to emerge. This time the message was simple and strong: I want to be witnessed for the clarity of my internal knowing, for the conviction and commitment to my soul purpose, and my capacity as a young man to take concrete action in the world, in partnership with a woman and as part of a growing soul family.

Our elder Jack Zimmerman[1], who lives with us on Hawai’i, would have been so proud.

I recall one mirror from Sabine Lichtenfels, paraphrased — Such a powerful partnership! In ancient temple traditions everyone had to take care of their own center as a channel for the divine. From this personal anchor, true partnership is possible. Humanity is entering the era of partnership. -

Initiation into my erotic entelechy

My heart was nervous; last night I had asked for inner guidance whether to make an erotic invitation to a woman who was not my partner; this morning I knew this was the next clear step. I immediately went to Marie to sit in inquiry for a moment, to ask for her support and blessing; she even offered to make the invitation! For me, this was an unknown edge I had long avoided from fear; for us, a gentle opening with the true impulse to serve love.


We walked slowly to the brown lake and through Terra Deva, simply noticing the quality of the connection and attraction, narrating every once in a while when we felt at ease or tense or turned on, occasionally a subtle withdraw into the mind or losing presence. The shared understanding that we were willing to be totally vulnerable and share our erotic selves allowed us to delve past any conventional conversation and simply meet at the deepest levels we were sensitive to. The fundamental feeling was — I trust this being and have such gratitude that our meeting is blessed by our friends-

At the oracle spring we prayed and were cleansed, and moved into the love space, the warm womb of a fig tree wrapping around us as we embraced. Sex is so beautiful in part because you don’t have to do anything in particular except allow the true impulses of the body. And we did.

After of week of being tormented by the masculine pain and guilt of millennia, this moment was a step of initiation into the recognition that my male presence in sexual contact can help restore trust and balance in the world. I do not have to protect women from myself any longer.


That afternoon, five of us sat on the porch of the bodega, Tamera’s temple of love, looking in wonder at each other’s eyes, deep warm wrinkles and pulsing hearts. Is this real? Rather, the shared knowing, this is real. Our universal sexual encounters had pierced through the veil of normality and given access to a latent possibility of relating to each other in the joy of knowing our divinely intimate connection.

I commit to supporting my partner in realizing her fully expressed erotic entelechy, even though sometimes it still scares the bejeezus out of me. And, perhaps more radically, I commit to my own.

-I need to be received by you-

I was shy meeting Marie that evening. Our adventure had gone hours over our expected time, and the journey was so healing and beautiful; what twisted reality that the more profound the experience, the more I would tend to downplay it to not cause fear! And it was challenging for her to hear about that afternoon, an easy circumstance for the inner judge to play on insecurity. That night, though, snuggled together in our sanctuary, I simply needed my entire being to be enveloped by my partner like an octopus, to know it is okay. And the joy she embraced me with was the balm I needed to continue growing as an erotic being beyond fear and shame.

Living the questions

These glimpses are guidance toward creating the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible[2]. Having seen this potential, what do we do about it now?

Tamera’s political theory[3] posits that a small number of communities can serve as global acupuncture points. A healing biotope is a research center and village-scale model for relationships, culture, ecology, economics, politics, every aspect that makes up humanity. This is not community just for community’s sake, but a globally networked node that acknowledges the most effective way to fulfill our personal needs is to serve the whole.

Marie and Jack and I are creating a watering hole[4] on Hawai’i to nurture this vision. This is a place for those whose role and soul longing in this lifetime is to birth a culture of intimacy and align global systems with the sacredness of life. And if, in fact, part of my best service in the world is making love, this place is a setting to discover the true expression of my erotic entelechy.

And we have many questions that deserve a lifetime of research:

· How can two sovereign beings thrive in partnership? What role does our partnership play in this evolutionary arc?

· How do we practically transition from systems of fear to trust within ourselves, especially in hot areas like sexuality, money, power, and work?

· What is mine and ours to do as part of the healing biotope vision?

· What concrete systemic projects, particularly on Hawai’i, can we undertake as a group?

· Where does Hawai’i fit in this narrative of system change as a model for sustainability and regenerative systems?

Contact

Please, please reach out if you feel resonance, want to learn more, come visit us in Hawai’i, or would simply like to explore being in contact.

We will be hosting open community working times for August/September, visiting California the beginning of October for a series of healing biotope/Tamera events, and dream of a winter on Hawai’i of deep community research with a group of 10–12 people.

Thank you, I love you!

Troy

Resources:

[1] https://smile.amazon.com/Flesh-Spirit-Jack-Zimmerman/dp/188364707X?sa-no-redirect=1

[2] https://charleseisenstein.net/books/the-more-beautiful-world-our-hearts-know-is-possible/

[3] The Sacred Matrix: https://smile.amazon.com/Sacred-Matrix-Dieter-Duhm/dp/3927266167?sa-no-redirect=1

[4] https://www.facebook.com/halealohahawaii/

Anita Moorjani: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhcJNJbRJ6U

Healing of Love: http://www.ianmack.com/videos/healing-love/