This is the Dumbest Question You Can Ask Your Stressed Out Partner

Dear fellow laid-back idiot,

Luke Trayser
Apr 5, 2018 · 3 min read
Halloween 2018. The author is the fire truck, in case you were wondering.

“Babe. How can I help?”

Congratulations. You are the dumbest.

How To Actually Help Your Stressed Out Partner

  1. Look around. What do you see? Hmmm. Looks like some laundry needs to be done. The couch hasn’t been vacuumed in a while. And what on earth is that smell? Is that you? Wait, no. It’s the garbage.
  2. Do the laundry. Vacuum the couch. Take out the garbage. Don’t ask how you can help. Just start working. You’re a big human with a mortgage and lower back pain and everything. You can do it.
  3. Boss your partner around (Option A). Light a few candles, grab the book she’s currently reading, pour a glass of wine, and prep a bubble bath. Walk up to her. Tell her, “Bath is ready. Go. I got this.”
  4. Boss your partner around (Option B). Tell your partner, “I texted your CWCFs. They’re meeting you for dinner. Go. I got this.”
  5. Boss your partner around (Option C). Give your partner alone time with their most fulfilling hobby. Knitting? Netflix? Exercise? Gaming? Screaming into a pillow? “Go. I got this.”
  6. Prove that you actually do got this. Keep the kids and/or pets happy. Tidy up. Make dinner. In general, try to do it all. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it’s exhausting. Welcome to your stressed out partner’s world. The only difference is, they’ll be overcome with gratitude at everything you’re doing.
  7. Note to self: Try to be overwhelmed with gratitude more often. Notice all the work your partner is doing. Say thanks. Be appreciative. Make it clear how much you value it.


You don’t have a supervisor. You have a partner. Start getting stuff done without being asked. Use those broad shoulders and help carry the mental load.

Luke Trayser

Written by

ACD and copy guy at Ivor Andrew. Freelance copywriting mercenary. Not my real hair. Get in touch on Twitter or email ltrayser at gmail.