Day 160: Donald Trump is Still a Child

Donald Trump continues to be the world's mentally youngest septuagenarian.

Some proof:

Pretends to Be Featured on Prominent Magazines:

Everybody knew at least a kid or two who had fake Sports Illustrated or People magazines with themselves super-imposed on the front with faux headlines like, “Jimmy Wins MVP!” or “Sarah Stars as Jasmine in Aladdin!” But it’s rare to see that done by someone over 12 years old. Trump is doing it at 71.

Makes Up Facts and While Being Totally Incoherent:

There’s no such thing as an “internet tax” and Amazon does pay state and federal taxes. What he’s trying to say in this tweet will perhaps always be unknown to everyone but him. It seems likely that this tweet is a response to the Post outing him for the fake Time cover.

Swears He’s a Straight-A Student; Report Card Shows He’s Barely Passing Numerous Classes:

It’s clear he didn’t read either the House’s or Senate’s health care bill, though he eventually did describe the House’s bill as “mean” in private. It’s also clear that if he did read either he’d see that both rebut his campaign promise of not cutting Medicaid. He claims to know the subject well but admitted just a few months ago, “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.” Actually, most adults did know that.

Has No Idea How to Talk to the Opposite Sex:

Take a deep breath and treat her the same as everyone else, man. Singling her out doesn’t make you look cool, it makes you look creepy.

Tries Bullying Classmates:

He’s literally trying to pressure classmates into doing what he wants, but doesn’t see that brute force is not the way to get anything done. The bully should try befriending those he doesn’t play nice with and may find he can get more accomplished and find common ground.

160 days in, 1302 to go


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