What It’s Like to Be Invisible
Leila Janah

I don’t think this is fair to say in general when you publicly list that you’re in a relationship with someone who is quite a big-shot in tech. Imagine a situation where almost any of Loic’s male friends were with him at a tech event — he might be like, “this is bob… and anyway, back to the conversation.” Less tech credentialed men — of which I am one — would not get equal airtime or introductions either. So, I think that if you’re in a relationship with someone of any gender who is in the same field as you — and if they are better known or higher status in a certain situation due to their credentials — then I don’t think we should be so sensitive about equal airtime or introductions.

We could take this a bit further and criticize the president for merely introducing his wife. This should not be seen as demeaning to her as a woman — she is his wife and that is fine. I think if feminists were to get their way, then in a press conference with a male president his wife would get equal airtime for her opinions.

“Introduce the women in your life as full human beings” is quite a scathing thing to say about even a small percentage of men — and I think you’re saying it is much more common than that. Do you really think it would make men feel better to be with (and moreover, enforce that they’re with) someone who is not a “full human being?”
I think something else is wrong (besides men’s behavior) if a woman of your status, disposition, and most of all: visibility — feels less significant and lacking attention.

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