“Never let somebody waste your time twice.” Andrea Gordon
From May 2019 to August 2021, I wished, prayed, begged, cried, and waited for my affair partner to see that he couldn’t live without me. We met in 2013, and I don’t regret the first six years of our intense affair. I wrote an article that I believe that my affair saved my life.
However, he changed after his D-day in May of 2019. And it wasn’t just a reworking or a minor hiccup. He retreated from our relationship with immense fear and denial.
Only a month before his D-day, he got down on one knee and put a ring on my finger. I was newly divorced and should have given myself room to adjust before committing to someone new. Instead, I couldn’t imagine my life without this man. Our “plan” would take a few years as he let his wife, with a debilitating illness, know he would always take care of her. We were in love, and he needed to keep me in his life. Their marriage and our relationship would transition into openness and honesty.
After D-day, I became obsessed, angry, and devastated when he began withdrawing from me. I would prove to him that he couldn’t give us up. It was two years of maneuvering and scheming. I read past emails I wrote to my mistress support group, and I don’t recognize that woman. I look at…
