How to find the bone of your bone before valentines

Image gotten from Pinterest

THE BONE OF YOUR BONE IS NOT A YORUBA MAN!

THE BONE OF YOUR BONE IS NOT A YORUBA MAN!!

THE BONE OF YOUR BONE IS NOT A YORUBA MAN!!!

Image gotten from Pinterest

Valentine is coming 🥁🥁 Where is your boyfriend? You are sitting at homeeee lonelyyyy. Your mates are getting flowers, and you are sitting at home lonelyyyyy 🎶🎶🎶

Dear single woman, I know these are trying times; love is in the air, but you can’t smell it because nobody loves you.

But fret not! I am here to bring you out of your misery. If you follow the tips in this piece, this year you wouldn’t be able to relate to the song in the intro, and you too would wear red and white on Valentine’s Day and shame your enemies 😌

• Leave your house! Folake, please, in the name of Jesus, go and bathe, wear fine cloth, use roll-on, spray perfume, rub ororo on your lips, wear a wig to cover that 5-week-old all back on your head. If you don’t have a fine wig, don’t embarrass us; just tie a scarf and leave your houseeee (tie the scarf like someone that has sense; don’t go and be looking like you’re going to preach). Let a little sun touch you; let them see that your skin is glowing. If it’s not glowing, rub oil on your body; nobody is going to know the difference. If you have the funds, go somewhere nice; if not, stand strategically on the road — your loml will find you there. Try this first tip three times, and if it doesn’t work, try one of the other tips.
• Steal someone’s man: If you see that someone’s man is treating her the way you would like to be treated, go and steal him. He thinks he loves her, but he hasn’t loved you yet. When you see him, just look into his eyes, then wink. He will lose focus; afterward, you’ll have about 2 minutes to make your move. Do it fast before he remembers he has someone at home that loves him. If your rizz doesn’t work, use a gun. If he’s a Yoruba man, please leave him for her, or better still, use the back of the gun to hit his head and run away 🏃‍♀️.

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• Slide into your crush’s DM: Enter with audacity. Don’t just say, “Hi, IJN” what’s that? Start with like 5 of your cute pictures. I didn’t say thirst traps, but if you’re feeling bold, you can try that. After you’ve sent the pictures, say, “You like what you see? 🤭😉” He will definitely like what he sees because you’re a gorgeous baddie 💅, and he’d have fallen in love already. You need not say or do anything more; love will speak for itself. You’d have a boyfriend by Valentine’s Day.

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• Stand on the road again: This time, wait for a fine car to pass and hail him down. Ask for a lift to somewhere not far so you can easily walk back to your house when you’re done with your mission. When he drops you, start looking for your lip gloss up and down in the car. When you people don’t find it, exchange numbers so he can keep you updated if he finds it. Smile and walk away. Do I need to tell you what to do next? Bolu, be smart, and please don’t let them kidnap you 🤲🏼.
• Go to church: God actually has some very beautiful sons. Scout for the one you like. Once you find him, after the service, walk up to him and ask him how the service was. Before this, make sure you must have been dancing well during the service and ‘kabashing’ like your life depends on it (your life actually depends on it). When you approach him, he’d have noticed you already; drop some Jesus baby charm. You can start with “I came here looking for God, and I think I found Him and one other.” He’ll blush; you people would exchange numbers. Keep up the Jesus baby energy when he texts you and make him fall in love with you. Remember, if you do this next Sunday, you’ll have exactly 10 days to make him fall in love with you, so apply pressure.

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• Dance on Instagram and tag different men: This is the last tip, and the inspiration was gotten from Moses Bliss’s fiancée. Pay attention to the word ✨fiancée✨. This is to let you know that it has been done before, and it has yielded maximum results. Although she didn’t tag different men, you have to be different because you’re desperate, and there’s no time again. It’s like spraying bullets; at least it will hit one person or two 🌚. Or you can just send the video into their DMs so you can speed things up.

If all these don’t work (which I doubt), you may have to go and buy powder and blow it in the face of the man you want. He will fall in love with you immediately.

No need to thank me! Really, there’s no need; I’m a girls’ girl, and this is what I do. If you need extra tips or encouragement, feel free to enter my DM; I’ll help you out gladly.

And if any of the tips work for you (which they will), please come and share your testimony with everyone; don’t worry; we wouldn’t beg for your Valentine’s gift or try to steal your man 🌚.

Thank you for reading; go out and find love and remember

THE BONE OF YOUR BONE IS NOT A YORUBA MAN!!!!