Free Pain, Free Burden

I am without and without but moving. Baseless, no home but stable. Or unstable, life tells me “call it what you want, it all means nothing anyway, call it what you want”…I am sobbing at this freedom that feels also like nothing, life in its cool voice “ call it what you want, girl, name it”…let the ones in the sea be called fish and the ones in the air “birds”, “call it, call it babe…It’s whatever.”

I am screaming and screaming and sobbing. I want it all to mean something, something beyond me. Something beyond me. Something beyond me. I don’t want to be God. An angel, I would want to be that if I were in my younger years, but that also means nothing. I have to call it, and name it and be it. And do and do and make and make and do. I cannot escape it. I am Him. I am God. Sort of.

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