When The Awkward Silence Isn’t Awkward
It happened first during my interview.
“… …”
“Ok, well, thanks for your time here. I’m sure you have a number of things to be doing..” I politely voiced.
“Nope. I’ve got all the time you need. If you’ve got more questions, I’ve got more answers.”
And then again at lunch my first day.
“… …”
“Alright, should we be off and on to more things?” I asked.
“It’s still lunch by my watch. Let’s keep talking.”
By the third time it happened, I was prepared.
“… …”
“So… … Cindy, tell me more about this new Thursday Lunches usability series. What are you hoping to see in the coming weeks?” I pivoted the conversation into a new direction, and we were back to it again.
As I’ve been onboarding at Yammer, I’ve been walking around eyes peeled and ears perked, trying to absorb everything from core metrics to team dynamics. In my first week, nothing has struck me as more odd than the level of comfort my team has with these conversational pauses.
When something feels odd, it’s generally a silent call to pay attention. And as I’ve been watching I’ve learned a few things about this quiet trend. I believe it’s truly the marker and maker of a close knit team.
How so? Well, what do you do normally when that pause strikes? At a networking event you usually say a great-to-meet-you and move on to the next clump of people. At a party you typically pull out your notify-me-now device and check for more engaging things. At work you normally jump to your next-on-the-list item and go back to “crushing it.”
When a silence doesn’t send you scurrying off to look for more interesting things, you send a very strong and beautiful signal: Spending time with you is worthwhile. You’re important to me. You matter.
How lovely is that! How worth an extra 5 minutes in your day. And when you know your colleagues value you at your base state—not the clever thing you said or that funny gif you posted—you’re free pose a whacky idea, voice a dissenting opinion, work more confidently, and generally bring your best to the job.
So here’s to the non-awkward awkward silences and a little bit of introspection.
Why does it feel so strange to pass a few seconds without advancing any agenda? Why does a little lull make my hand twitch for my mobile phone and my wrist flick for my smart watch? What would happen if I slowed down a bit and demonstrated my appreciation for my coworkers?
… …
I wonder….
