Boot camp is over…
It’s over. My 12 week ordeal at The Iron Yard Houston is complete. What a rollercoaster of a trip its been. I don’t think I’ve felt so many emotions in such a short amount of time before. I can be described as clever, funny, intelligent, charming, silly, or shy, quiet, and mostly mysterious depending on where we meet. I say where because during my time in school, I’ve was shy. Which is weird, because outside of it, I’m not. I bring this up because it was a constant struggle to maintain a sociable personality while I felt so much anxiety.
Should I raise my hand? Should I risk sounding dumb by not understanding the difference between a function and a callback? Or when a promise must be set before recalling data? Or the proper syntax for creating collections and models in react? I had so much anxiety asking for help. I think so much of it had to do with this idea I had in my head that I had to ‘get it’ like everyone else did. I couldn’t let my instructor or classmates know how much I struggled at first. The first 4 weeks passed like this… until finally I broke.
I felt my hands shaking, my heart racing, and my thoughts running 1,000 mph. I couldn’t do it. I made a mistake. I had to leave. And so I did. I got up, left my macbook running on the desk, and walked out of lecture. I sat in my car breathing deep wondering how the hell I was going to pass this course. I began to wonder if I had made the right choice by being there… was coding boot camp too much for me to handle? I called my brother and struggled to put sentences together that explained how I felt. He knew that I’ve had struggles with this from time to time and did his best to talk me down and relax. I went home that day feeling defeated. A tattered banner being carried a beaten legion returning home seeking solace. But once the smoke cleared I felt as though a spirit spoke to me.
“You know why this happened, right?”
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Your habits must change. “
“I’m studying everyday.”
“You ask a great amount from your body and mind and yet you give it so little.”
“I can’t slow down, I’ll fail if I do.”
“Sharpen your sword, and you will cut things easier”
“What does that mean?”
“Sleep on time, calm your breaths, ask the questions you have ruminating in your head during class. Unwind with your classmates. Clean your eating and drinking habits. Give me what I need to produce what it is that you’re asking of me.”
That moment of my leaving day told me that I must change if I am going to be successful. The old me is not capable of making the grand change in myself that I desired. The old me has to die before I can change. And that day he did. I committed myself to listening to my body and being more patient with myself.
It’s been three months since I started the bootcamp. I did it. I completed it. I learned how to use HTML, CSS, and Javascript to start my career as a Front End Web Developer. I learned Backbone.js and React.js frameworks to supplement my Javascript. I added Jquery and AJAX to my arsenal. Git and Github became 2nd nature to me. I learned styling principles with CSS3 and SCSS. I learned how to write modular components using react to create clean, legible code.
I learned how to be more human.
I learned how to admit my weaknesses.
I learned how to make friends during hardship.
I learned how to ask questions.
I learned to be more forgiving to myself and not to take myself so damn seriously all the time.
I met some truly great people during my time at The Iron Yard. I can’t say it enough, one of the best things about my experience there, was the people I met and the trials I overcame. I felt like I truly leveled up in my life after this experience and can 100% say without a doubt it was worth it.
