Maybe Your Feelings Aren’t Your’s.
I was having an interesting conversation with my girlfriend Felecia. I was telling her about this idea I had after I have built up a following, I could set up a platform called “Intellectual Intercourse” like TED but for philosophical ideas, and it would be in a spirit of entertainment purposes. In the spirit of watching football. No one watches the football game to try to change the world, or for the world to be a better place, or so we can all finally live in peace. People watch it to be entertained. Meaning unconditional, they do it just to do it, without a means, with out a outcome.
As I was explaining this to her, she got quiet. I could tell she didn’t want to talk about it. I asked “Whats going on why aren’t you talking?”. She said “You really want to know?… I just think that ideas aren’t shit, its all about the execution”. I said “with out the Idea you wouldn’t have a foundation to execute from, why are you salty about it? She says “Because I feel like everybody has ideas, but very few actually execute”. Felecia is an entrepreneur, and if you’ve ever talked to an entrepreneur, you’ll know that execution is everything. I am a philosopher, who loves ideas, so you could imagine the debate going on. So as we were talking I literally felt like I was being shitted on, like my idea were being devalued, and I got the thinking, am I doing something wrong? should I change?
We end up getting home, we discussed more, and I found that she thought I was shitting on her, and all the hard work she does as an entrepreneur, by just having an idea and not executing it. She felt I was devaluing her execution. I recognize that everything that I felt emotionally as well as thoughts, were the exact same as hers. Now I knew my intention wasn’t to devalue her hard work at all. I was just sharing a potential possibility for the future. You know, day dreaming about what I can do, yet she didn’t perceive it that way. There for I should have no reason for feeling like I should change, or that my ideas aren’t shit.
So from this experience, I really think I felt her emotions and thoughts, and I just made it about me. Meaning I felt her thoughts and feelings and interpreted them as my own. With this awareness what if I just recognized that, feel the feeling of getting shitted on, and in that moment instead of thinking it has to do with me, instead ask her “Why do you feel like I’m shitting on you” assuming that the feelings and thoughts I had was her true experience. This is a theory I have. If I get into something like this again, then whatever I’m feeling as a result of conversing with another, I’m going to ask why THEY feel that way, and see what happens. See what experiences I’ll have. Stepping into the unknown, here I come.