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Playwright. Screenwriter. Penguin. Big fan of rational argument and polite discourse. Find me causing chaos in the comments section. Leave a DM to get in touch.

Five things you’re allowed to know about my identity and four things you’re not.

What constitutes your identity? If society is determined that we play identity politics then this is a question I feel compelled to ask. Who gets to define the parameters of who I am. What’s their agenda and why does it matter?

Here are five things I think I have defined as key to my identity. Reading this article means you’ll get to know more about the person behind the penguin. You’ll get a better picture of who I am without being able to identify me in any way at all.

And that’s the way it will stay for the foreseeable

I studied Psychology


Why vulnerable minority groups must be mindful of who they encourage to advocate for their community.

This story relates to a very well written article by an LGBTQ+ writer on Medium. James Finn and I have agreed on a lot of things in the past and I’ve always enjoyed his writing and the vast majority of his insights. The guy has a great style.

Turns out he doesn’t like being questioned or debated and alas, that is my hobby. It’s in the name.

If you want to be familiar with the wider context of our discussion then you’ll need to be familiar with the highly contentious and salacious novel ‘Call Me Max’.


On the power of infidelity in your writing life

Don’t panic, this isn’t going to be one of those articles about all the exciting things that happen when two humans choose to have sex. I haven’t got the energy — or the imagination. I’ve written exactly zero articles about sex and I fully expect it to stay that way.

This article is about cheating on your day job.

One of the most prevalent issues with Medium newbies is the desire to eat, sleep and breathe the platform. Glued to the stats page like a fly in the dopamine spider’s web of potential acclaim. …


The Facebook Oversight Board have kicked the free speech problem into the long grass and declared it SEP.

Mark Zuckerberg, fictional tech super-villain and real human being, recently received an e-mail that would’ve made him angry. “Damn it!” he was heard yelling into his laser-shark aquarium.“When I set up a quasi-judicial board to make my problems go away, I expected them to go away!”

The Supreme Court of Facebook or ‘Oversight Board’ was a great idea in principle. It should’ve allowed Zuckerberg and his top team to duck any responsibility for difficult decisions. A handy group of lawyers, academics and tech-moguls he could point at when the mob showed up with pitch-forks.

Whether said mob was going to…


I need the legalistic hive-mind of the internet to solve a complex moral question about side-orders and criminal intent

I’m taking a quick hiatus from my usual article about what’s wrong with society to talk about what’s wrong with my thought process. Ever since I was a young penguin I’ve always thought in right angles and arguments.

I’m always looking for loopholes. Not necessarily to exploit them but simply because they’re interesting. I’m interested in how laws are made and what that means for society in general.

This week I found one at the local pub. Lockdown is over and I went out with the significant other and ordered burger and chips (fries) for the first time in forever…


I don't necessarily have a problem with BLM - nor do I have a problem with those people who seek to profit from it. That is human nature - one can profess to be a Marxist because such a thing is easy to do until someone gives you a cheque for a few hundred thousand dollars - and then suddenly you become a born again capitalist. Such is human nature and people almost always act in their own interest.

My position, and one I've taken for a long time, is that focussing the discussion around race can't solve the problem…


My weekly thought experiment about the confusing mess of identity politics and faux-liberal ideology.

There are some core differences between being anti-trans activist and being transphobic. Knowing the difference will help you with the rest of the article. Remember the penguin mantra — disagreement and dissent aren’t oppression even when it feels like it.

First things first. We need to talk about Elliot.

I’m on board with Elliot Page and I think he’s a good actor. I have zero problems with his continuing journey towards happiness in whatever form that takes. More power to you my friend. You rock.

The journey he’s been on isn’t one that many people on this planet will share…


Featuring the two important words that she, and all politicians, should practice saying every time there’s a court case.

It is my experience both professionally and personally that police officers come in two flavours. The first are good people who believe the job they do is a worthwhile and integral to a functioning society.

They tend to be pleasant if somewhat uptight at times.

I would say this represents about eight out of ten police officers I’ve worked with or met. I was once pulled over for speeding by an officer like this. It was 11pm and I was doing 40mph through a rural village. …


For those who think Penguins only enjoy whack-a-woke, behold a whole other political wing of playfriends.

If you haven’t read my article on Jonathan Pentland and the altercation that ensued outside his property then you might want to do so. The article, like most of my writing, takes a centre-ground and classic liberal position.

It condemns Pentland’s actions and the subsequent BLM activist outrage that followed in equal measure. Both sides of this tricky tete-a-tete have performed their parts admirably and with all the diplomatic skill of a pinless hand-grenade.

Most of the time those who take exception to my work come in hard and fast from the (not very) liberal left. They’re angry because my…


A masterclass in how to unmake friends and alienate penguins (and people)

I’ve grown quite fond of my ‘whack-a-woke’ series. It initially began as a one-off article that I penned in a fit of penguin-pique at not being given the right to reply to a comment on my own post.

Since that point, the idea has expanded to include a whole bunch of insights into patterns of human behaviour. It allows me to reflect both on my own itchy trigger finger and the quality of online discourse more generally.

If you’re wondering whether you’ll appear in my ‘Whack-a-Woke’ series for disagreeing with me then you need not worry. …

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