On MRAs and Mental Health

Howdy, folks. So this is going to be a bit of a continuation from myprevious article about mental health. Today, we’ll be discussing MRAs and how they are preying on men with mental health issues. For those of you who are unaware, Paul Elam, the head of A Voice for Men, the premiere anti-woman organization on the internet, has started two new websites. The first of these, An Ear for Men, bills itself as “a website, blog, and personal consulting service for men only.” It claims to offer services in battling addiction, gaining self-respect, and dealing with “high-conflict relationships” and “surviving divorce.” The second of these, the Men’s Mental Health Network, claims to “provide an alternative for men to the mainstream mental health profession which has grown increasingly sexist and indifferent to the problems faced by men and boys.” It offers similar “services” to An Ear for Men — disabilities, addictions, loss, and “high-conflict relationships”.

The Men’s Mental Health Network frontpage

On its surface, some of this might not seem so bad. As I pointed out in my previous article, men are often discouraged from seeking treatment or are shamed if they do get mental health care. However, these websites by Paul Elam are mainly about blaming women and feminism for men’s problems. Reading the About page on the Men’s Mental Health Network shows how they paint academia as being dominated by a feminist conspiracy that silences any and all criticism of it. They specifically blame “patriarchy theory” as one of the causes of the mental health community supposedly failing men. I don’t know about any of you who have mental health issues, but in all of my years of receiving mental health treatment, the word “patriarchy” was never spoken by anyone. Instead, professionals asked me questions about my life, about events that were bothering or upsetting me, and about any potential symptoms I may or may not have that could be indicative of a mental illness.

Empathy apartheid.

As I mentioned in my previous article, seeking treatment for mental health problems as a man can be a frightening prospect. All Paul Elam and company are doing is making seeking treatment even harder by portraying mental health professionals as man-haters who must “[accept] that men have problems vs. the default assumption that men are the problem.” I’ve never had any professional, ever, tell me that what happened to me or that my mental conditions were my fault. I have, however, had MRAs repeatedly attack me and mock me. I’ve had MRAs “ask” me if one of my conditions is ‘pathological lying’, been attacked for being bipolar, for having PTSD, and for a few other things as well. Elam and company hope to make these men doubt mental health professionals have their best interests at heart, thus making them easy marks for A Voice for Men’s latest money-making venture.

So, why is what A Voice for Men is doing so dangerous? Because they are actively discouraging men from seeking competent mental health treatment. They play into this fear that seeking help from professionals is somehow ‘unmanly’ by saying said professionals are dominated by feminist ideology, which they claim is somehow harmful to men. Of course, they don’t actually explain how any of that is actually true, but that would be expecting too much from MRAs. By attacking the traditional psychiatric establishment and encouraging men to use their “alternative”, they are trying to prevent men from getting the proper treatment for mental illnesses or tragedies that may befall them. It is already hard enough for many men to bring themselves to get treatment.

I just picture young, college-aged, lonely Rob, in the midst of an incredibly bad bipolar cycle, struggling with people questioning my manhood for seeking treatment. Something like An Ear for Men or the Men’s Mental Health Network launched by Paul Elam could easily have tricked me into giving large sums of money to a bunch of misery profiteers who would have told me that all of my problems were due to feminism or ‘gynocentrism’. This is why it is so dangerous: they actively encourage men to use their “service” (which, as far as I can tell is not accredited or licensed in any way) instead of real, actual mental health professionals. Men with mental illnesses or mental health problems are already a vulnerable population due to their conditions as well as the expectations and demands society places on them. Much of this is due to toxic masculinity, which the amazing Bailey covered in her article, here.

Paul Elam on helping men.

It’s not even like Paul Elam sincerely wants to help. He’s openly stated that even if you are 100% in line with MRA dogma, he doesn’t give a damn about helping you, stating: “Like, fuck you. Like, tough shit. Like, go fucking bother someone else with your problems. I’m quite serious.” I’m not sure how anyone who says that even to men who agree with his bigoted, hate-filled ideology can say with a straight face that they’re interested in helping men suffering from psychological problems. He’s interested in spinning some flimsy yarn about an “empathy apartheid” created by a bunch of boogeyman feminists who have “infiltrated” psychology & psychiatry in order to line his own pockets with PayPal donations from the vulnerable men he seeks to prey upon.

I’ve sought care for my conditions on and off for years. In my experience, there has never been any bias or lack of empathy coming from any of my mental health providers due to me being a man. This includes when I’ve discussed the abuse I experienced as a child. If anything, they were far more empathetic than the average person — including and especially men — and had a vested interest in my well-being and recovery. I don’t doubt that there are psychologists and psychiatrists out there that are bad at their job or have poor bedside manner, but to indict the whole system as being sexist against men or indifferent to our problems because of a few possible bad apples or fabrications created by MRAs is just ridiculous. Men with mental health issues should seek care from licensed practitioners, not snake oil salesman trying to foist a male-centric, anti-woman narrative as a cure to psychological problems.

This latest ploy by A Voice for Men and its staffers is disgusting. Their goal is to raise as much money as possible (especially due to their latest and continuing fundraising failures) and to turn as many vulnerable men into weapons to attack women with as possible. Paul Elam wants to turn men’s mental health into yet another battlefield of the war on women. This isn’t about helping men or trying to get them into proper treatment for their issues, it is nothing more than a naked cash-grab. MRAs have repeatedly attacked me on my mental health issues, so forgive me if I don’t particularly trust them to care about the mental health issues of other men. Men are an underserved community in mental health because of the outside expectations society places on them, not due to some feminist conspiracy within the mental health industry and academia to blame men for every problem that exists. If Paul Elam and his friends truly cared about men’s mental health issues, they would join with feminists in destroying harmful gender roles, toxic masculinity, and societal expectations that prevent men from receiving effective treatment.