Why We Don’t Show Our Faces

by Unwelcome Greetings
first appeared on
The Traphaus Times

Thanks Internet

Welcome to 2016, where you know everything about everyone anywhere. Thanks Internet. Nowadays if you record someone getting into a fistfight with a polar bear in Canada, all the kids in Australia will know the name of the bear, how many kids it has, and which hood the bear grew up in. Thanks Internet.

When we shoot our Snapchat movies, we wear our RapMasks, which means we can play celebrities in awkward and hilarious situations. We use the Internet jokes associated with that celebrity as a starting point in developing their personalities and skits i.e Drake vs Meek Mill, or Kanye loving Kanye. We have a lot of fun with it and we’re able to create endless storylines that sometimes leaves the audience thinking, “WTF?!” but still sending snaps of laugh-tear-emojis.

Show Us Your Face

In the midst of filming our Snapchat movies, we get lots of snaps from people all around the world asking : “Why don’t you show your real face?” Or “Why do you ALWAYS wear masks?” First off, the masks are dope AF and you should get one too. And secondly, the real answer is simple: we want you to focus more on what we create rather than who we are.

There’s way too many people on the Internet who are constantly begging for attention. You may know them as “Instagram models” and “YouTube personalities.” They might look pretty or have a consistent, relatable point of view. Their fans grow to love them, grow with them, and share all their stuff.

The issue with these Internet influencers is the weird ego-stroking that’s necessary in crafting this idea of a person for their fans. Ironically, we don’t want to build a façade for you to fall in love with. Our masks allow you to genuinely interact with what we create.

You become untied from any commitment to an idea of who we are and instead can truly laugh, say “WTF?”, or share the fun with your friend. When we’re creating a Snapchat movie, a new card design, or a campaign to troll you, we at with Unwelcome Greetings take pride in our humor and relationship with Internet memes & videos.

We’re Sexy Cause We’ll Live Forever ❤

Timelessness in the Internet age is hard to come by. Unlike like your favorite porn stars from 2008 that you scroll past on Pornhub.com, the essence of our humor and creativity in what we share lives forever in our relationship with you.

It’s that genuine stream of creativity that keeps you coming back. And we love them too–to the point where we’re sending you emojis on the daily (we all know you only send emojis to people you care about). We want you to love the Unwelcome Snapchat Movies and Cards when you’re chillin’ on rockers in nursing homes with bae.

The only way to guarantee that is too separate our personal selves from what we create. That way, if we get old and ugly, we can just get some Instagram models to wear the masks and take over. It’s basically us promising you and your babies a lifetime subscription to Unwelcome Greetings.

Plus, if you knew who we were we’d have to kill you… with our strikingly good looks.

P.S. you should totally get some RapMasks and start making Snapchat Movies too. We could collaborate without having to be together and we’d love to post them and shout you out on our Snapchat and Facebook.