25 Things You Will Never Hear Anybody from DC Say, Ever

By Malee Oot

In many ways, Washington, DC is a city of transplants. The residents of other cities, states, and countries are drawn to the capital, whether it’s for work, education, and sometimes, even for love. But despite the mishmash of locally-born DC natives, new arrivals, and longtime locals, the city has forged a uniquely DC identity far different from that of other East Coast towns. These are 25 things you will never hear a DC resident utter, no matter how long they have actually lived in the city (and first and foremost, you will never hear the place referred to as Washington).

1. I have never been disappointed by any local sports team.

2. I am perfectly competent at driving in the snow and will not rush to the store to stock up on sundries like it’s the end of days at the sight of the first few flakes.

3. I look forward to conversing with strangers during my daily metro commute and will readily give up my seat to anyone who makes eye contact with me.

4. There just aren’t enough Ethiopian restaurants in this town.

5. I’d rather fly out of BWI, the ticket is $20 cheaper. Totally worth it!

6. I’m looking to buy my first home in Georgetown.

7. Sure, you can borrow my SmartTrip card.

8. As an unpaid intern, I won’t have any problem affording housing in the city.

9. I have only ever eaten jumbo slice pizza while sober.

10. Dan Snyder is the best thing to ever happen to DC sports.

11. I visit the museums of the Smithsonian every single weekend.

12. A Segway is a perfectly acceptable way to get around the city, and I definitely won’t assume you are a tourist.

13. I love waiting for motorcades to pass, I may get to see someone famous!

14. I don’t just go to the monuments when out-of-town guests are visiting.

15. I am totally neutral about the Dallas Cowboys.

16. I would never give out a business card at happy hour.

17. I love it when the escalator at the Dupont metro breaks, the climb is totally worth the calorie burn.

18. Don’t worry about parking here, you’ll never get a ticket.

MidnightSlinks via Reddit

19. If I get up early enough, I can beat the crowds to the cherry blossoms this year.

20. I can’t imagine there ever being a delay on metro.

21. Don’t worry, it’s easy to park in Georgetown (that’s why the metro doesn’t go there!)

22. I don’t mind the summer at all, the humidity is really invigorating!

23. What is go-go music?

24. I was just fine before the Nats, who cares about baseball?

25. No, I don’t mind meeting you in Arlington instead.

Originally published on www.upout.com/DC

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