Love in the age of digital

A short conversation on what happens to love, relationships and intimacy in digital era

V: Digital technology is a love-killer. How is it possible that for 70% of the smartphone users it is much more pleasant to spend the first 15 minutes after waking up with their phone than sharing an intimate moment with their partner.

S: Well, that is a matter of choice, female one, by the way. Evidently, if women in North America and Britain have a choice to give up sex or technology for 3 months, she would prefer to give up sex. On the contrary, men wouldn’t do it.

V: That’s a very convenient excuse for men to start digital ‘love’. And, by the way, couples are breaking up because of male cybersex addiction. Of course, a laptop would never say NO or have a headache.

S: The truth is that technology nowadays is not that disconnected from love or relationships. Already today one third of the marriages in the USA have started via Internet. By 2040, the number of such couples is expected to reach 70%. So, on the contrary to being a love-killer, digital technology gives people an opportunity to fall in love, especially for shy and timid ones. Internet is a modern digital Cupid.

V: This digital Cupid is a bit biased. Probably, he was even bribed or sponsored by Apple, because iOS users are more popular on the dating sites and have 17% higher chances to be approached online than those who use Android.

S: Maybe it was even created by the divorced women?! Online dating sites are real ‘female second-hand markets’: for women who are already 42 years old, on an average, and who already went through divorce.

V: Yes, but then those men who appear on the dating sites are those who could not make it in a real life: they are already 44 and haven’t even been married yet.

S: Still, together, they create successful happy couples with lower chances to divorce.

V: What if after creating this amazing digital happily-ever-after couple, one of the partners never changes its habits to meet someone online? In this moment of truth the application like, Tinder, or the sites, like Ashley Madison, step into the digital love game.

S: Ok, ok, I agree couples are not perfect. Even what happens on an innocent Facebook can ruin the relationships. In some moments of weakness, a person can easily get friendlier with some of their FB friends, or get re-connected with the first love or the ex.

V: Internet is also a huge storage of memories of your old loves. It would be mission impossible to fully erase the common digital history: to delete all pictures together, to avoid the tags on the friends’ pictures or suggestions to make friends with those whom you have already tried to kick out of your life.

S: Ironically, lawyers even use Facebook evidence to win the divorce cases for their clients. One in five divorce cases are linked to FB evidence in the UK. I can tell you even more, now Brits can divorce online for a price starting from £69 to £399.

V: Even breaking up became massively digital. Cowards that break-up by texts constitute a vast majority. It is depressing that only 18% have guts to break up face-to-face, to reveal their emotions and maybe even to smash some plates.

S: In a romatic world, love should be all about sweet emotions but thanks to digital it became a great business. Digital love has its cost. People are ready to pay $239 annually for online soulmate search, which made online dating a fast growing industry worth $2.2 billion in the US.

V: So, love is in the air? in the cloud? or in the wallet?