Dear kids I’m not having because global warming would make that a very sad life,

I’m sorry for Milton Friedman, Ayn Rand, Ronald Reagan, and the Clintons. If I had a time machine I would go back and kill them in their cribs. Sparing the world from any one of them would likely have left this planet hospitable. Each in their own way made society treat rich people like they were geniuses who deserved more money and poor people like lazy slackers who deserved scorn. It’s too late to fix it now, the problem is global and we all know only one country gets to set the economic agenda. Hillary and the corporate media propaganda department just shut down our last shot at survival. I’m sorry, I tried.