Twenty-one on the 21….. Chronicling the days before.
Reflections.
You're going to read this in the most simplest & informal language. It might be longer than expected, so brace up!
Turning 21 on the 21st of June feels like an achievement, I mean who doesn't like the feeling? It’s a flex. Lol. Vanity or not, I am “21 on the 21”. Well, 21 came earlier than I expected. Time to hear more “Bring a man home” gospels from my mother. Lol, she just enjoys teasing me. Guyss, so, it’s really that 20-somethings that people get married? Lmaoo.
For some reason, many think I’m older than my age. I’d take that as a compliment, the matured beyond-her-years kind. Yes, that’s me thank you.
I see it as a special occasion, turning 21, I express my deepest gratitude to Jesus. He is the source of my existence, and I am immensely thankful for His guidance throughout my life, both in the past and in the future. As it is written, “For I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that I should walk in them.”
At the beginning of this month, I curated a playlist on YT Music titled “21 on the 21st,” symbolizing the significance of my 21st birthday. This playlist comprises songs that resonate with the current chapter of my life, and I have been joyfully listening and dancing to them ever since. It has been the standout highlight of June for me, and I absolutely love it.
Lately, I’ve been feeling very grateful. After taking a moment to look back on my life and all the motions, the experiences, and the people, I am grateful for where it all has led me.
How far with age 20?
Thinking about it now, I lived age 20 as How well?, not How far? You and I know I can’t walk a long distance, I might get tired and just seat on the road. Lol. So I decided to go with “How well” even though our president asked us to hit the ground running and keep running. Lmaoo
Allow me to share with you the key lessons I have learned and the personal growth I have achieved, which have served as guiding principles for me throughout the past year. I hope that these insights resonate with you and establish a meaningful connection between us.
On holding unto God,
I will say, 20 was the age I held God’s hand more tightly than I have ever done. I knew that with any small distraction, my hands will fall off, so I held Him so tightly and as sweet & merciful as He is, He held his baby girl so well. I am so grateful to God. This was the year I prayed to walk in Accuracy & precision and He rightly helped me, I discerned His prompting to “Go” and when to hold back.
I recognized the opportunities He wanted me to seize and those I needed to ignore. I want to express my heartfelt appreciation to my spiritual leaders and every friend who has supported my spiritual journey throughout the past year. Simply reaching out to them is enough for them to start praying and speaking God’s word over my life. My friends are the best, so cute. Special shout out to Miss. Opeyemi Adetola, my beautiful Mentor, this woman is a walking piece of Jesus’ fire. I love you so much ma.
On Family & Friendships,
I have the best support systems in life and I am very grateful to God for surrounding me with such beautiful humans. Special shout out to my Mother & my siblings, they’re my favorite gifts from God. To my Dad also, shout out to you in heaven, your baby girl that you left at 3 is 21 now. I know you're smiling from heaven over me and proud of me, you kuku no get choice. Lol. The times Sapa wanted to get me, my siblings were there to attend to my plea for urgent 2k. ( Smiles in “You cannot shame the shameless” )
Talking about friendships, I have the best friends in the world. I am their favorite friend, I don’t care if any new friend from “God knows where” comes into their lives. 😉 From the ones that prayed for me at every moment, the ones that sent me opportunities, the ones I wanted to use my “bad mouth” to finish, the ones that made me laugh, the ones that gives the warmest hugs in the world, the ones that make me laugh. I love you all. All my love to y’all. Bukumi, please take one love and pass it to the rest. Lol.
I value friendships a lot and I am glad God sent great ones my way. Any lesson I have learned on friendship is, “Hold on to your friends, invest in them, and love them so well, the good will always come back to you” I’m not sure if that counts as a lesson, but let’s take it that way. Thanks and God bless. Lol
On pursuing Purpose & doing things I love,
I spent a large percentage of age 20 with my brother, Chenemi Abraham and I am grateful for the ASUU strike. Lol. Chenemi is the best mentor and adviser in this world, his advice on life, purpose, relationships, and career has really shaped my becoming. He has talked sense in my head and made me realize that I can do whatever I set my heart to do. At 20, I was audacious, and I intend to maintain that audacity going forward.
I read a lot of books at 20 and I am so glad I didn't allow laziness to get a hold of me. These books are part of what shaped my life, thinking, and view of life generally. One of my favorite books from the past year is “The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick) by Seth Godin” It was a gift from my guy, Young Money T. I am grateful to have read that book. I read a lot of other books, but this stood out for me.
20 was the age, I took my Tech more seriously. Lol. It gave me a lot of opportunities that I am grateful to God for. From the job opportunities to the new friends and everything in between. The past year was the year I got more “Congratulations” and more “Rejections”. But that didn't stop me from trying, call me “The Audacious Utty”. The highlight of my audacious steps was securing an Internship at Sterling Bank. A few weeks before that opportunity, I had rejected an internship with an agency in Ibadan because the opportunity demanded me to be physically present in Ibadan but I didn't know where or who to stay with. I remember Chenemi and Fr. Mona reassuring me that the best will come. Well, to the glory of God, the best actually came. I had the best time working with the best team at Sterling Bank.
Another highlight was getting into The Bridge program. It was such a great and challenging experience for me, I loved that I was there, learned a lot, and made great friends.
A lot of other “Ws” but let me not blow my trumpet. I owe it all to God, my family, and my friends who are great support systems.
This was the year I decided to explore other career paths, read more on it here.
On lessons, leaving limiting beliefs and moving ahead,
- One book can alter the entire trajectory of life. Read all you can and apply what you learn to have new ways of thinking and acting in the world.
- Life becomes more beautiful with God in it.
- How do you express your gratitude? Personally, I don’t think it’s enough to say thank you. While it is an extremely appreciated phrase, it doesn’t change the world. Too many thank you’s have been said without any actual difference being made. You say ‘thank you’ and walk away, as do the next person and the person after that. I want my ‘thank you’ to be written in the sands of time. Don’t you? So, Pay it forward. If you’re grateful, be to someone else the very person you are grateful for. Replicate for the next person the experience that changed your life. That is how you leave the world better than you found it. And that is one heck of a “thank you”, don’t you think?
- Everyone's not gonna like you. Lol, it’s one hard truth we must learn to accept. So, do you, be you! You don’t have to bend for someone to accept you.
- Everything you ever want to achieve is on the other side of fear. Go for it, like Nike, “Just do it”. i believe this podcast on winning the war against fear by Tiwaola will be a helpful resource for you.
- If “Everyone else is doing it,” give it a second thought. You don’t get an extraordinary life by following what ordinary people do. Create your own path and you’ll find yourself in places no one has ever been.
- It’s the players on the field who are really living, not the spectators in the stands. Strap up your boots and live your best life. Don’t stand around watching everyone else live theirs.
- Know your priorities and remove anything from your life that doesn’t support being the person you want to be.
- It’s okay to be confused and don’t know what to do. So, give yourself permission to slow down and walk at your own pace.
I would end this with a letter from Blessing Abeng that I read earlier this year,
Dear You,
Except you can predict the future 100% you are taking a risk. Nothing is guaranteed, not even life. It takes guts to wakeup everyday and do something knowing fully that it may or may not work. It takes guts to fail. It takes guts to get on a plane knowing fully that there is a percentage chance of a crash, yet we do it anyway. So, experiment, take risks, fail, do something everyday to get better, show up, try your best, surround yourself with people who lift you up even when you fail because in the end, we are all just winging it. Only difference is, some are daring to try and take risks every single day while some are trying to play it safe, and that is truly the difference. You’re allowed to re-invent yourself as many times as you want. Experiment, evolve, try… this world is just a big petri dish.
With Love, Blessing Abeng.
Thank you for reading through and celebrating with me. You can share this with a friend or two.
With Love,
Utenwo-ojo.
