Gone girl, or Why don’t you love me as my-fucking-self

As the story goes, people only see Amy the psycho-path. They are only terrified by the story of how a woman went to great length to revenge her cheated husband and secretly wonder whether there were any chance that their partner might do the same to them, or occasionally admire Amy and wish to have her organizing ability to avenge those they loathe.

Amy pretended to be the cool girl during her entire relationship. And as tiring as it sounds, she really did do a lot of work to keep the cool image, and her husband was lured into her interesting play, which he gradually forgot to finish the role. The relationship started so poetic. Even their casual small talks sounded well-scripted. His unusually charming gestures? Her uncanny yet luring way to introduce her self? You can argue that those details are designed for the audiences’ sake, but in reality we do make a huge effort to create the perfect first impression (and the follow-up actions to enhance that first impression). Every sentence was on purpose. And if one initiate it, the other has to play along.

At first we were fascinated, not because of the infatuation, but the surprise at how interesting we can be thanks to the other person’s support role. Are we not thrill to be able to throw a whole treasure hunt game for anniversary? And proud that we, unlike other female counterparts who are oblivious to their partner’s rather masculine interest, can talk about football or other girls? And smile understandingly at their foolish stuff that hurts us as if we are totally undemanding. Trying to be the ‘cool girl’ is not easy, and the only motivation that keeps them from maintaining that image is the appreciation from their partner. But no one can keep playing pretend forever.

Amy’s plan had a huge change when she was robbed and had to beg for Desi Collins (Neil Patrick Harris) to take her in. I really feel like at some point, she thought about giving the whole thing up and stay with him for his sincere care. But then when she was ‘herself’, her unpretentious, authentic self, Desi bought her new clothes, told her to go to the gym,… to ‘move on and get back the old Amy’ which she was trying to get rid of. He too, loved her for the pretentious cool image she once created.

Amy’s whole life is crafted and faked by her own parents into the model they want: the amazing Amy. The Amazing Amy is a prodigy, a cool girl, a player. “Amazing Amy is always one step ahead of me” — she said. Sick of pretending all her life, wouldn’t she want to live as she is?

Needless to say she slitted Desi’s throat.

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