I am obsessed with my absence

I imagined the world in my absence. The things that would happen around me if the people that I know had their memories that involved me erased. Boy was that a little depressing and liberating at the same time. Dichotomy! Would that make my perceptions more objective than now? The actions that I incite accompany a desire for my personal touch to be present. When I am involved in a discussion , I crave for something to be brought to the table by me bordering on desperation. It sends logic down the drain. My brain bends reality most of the times. Logic is something that my subconscious wants to grab as a lifeline to get through life itself. Emulating my absence gives my neurons a taste of reality.