Quit Playing the Blame Game, For Good

What do you do when things are going downhill?

  • You make a wrong turn on the road.
  • You mess up your project at work.
  • You burnt your meal in the kitchen.
  • You break up with your partner because of a misunderstanding.

For many people, it feels so natural to put their dissatisfaction and anger towards someone else.

  • Wrong turn? Why does the sign is so small!
  • Project failure? Why does my employee so useless!
  • Burnt an omelette? My kid distracted me!
  • Broke up? She’s always unreasonable!

They immediately figure out who was at fault. They start blaming. They blame others because it is easier not to take responsibility. It’s not my fault, it’s because of them, it’s you not me. It is a lot more comfortable to dump those feelings on others than taking them head on.

Blaming is cheap. Anyone could do it and it does not do anyone any good. It’s a habit of unsuccessful, hateful and jealous people that want others to fail. You don’t want to be with these people when shit exploded.

For them, it’s never their fault that their lives are shit.

Start Taking Responsibility

Whiner, victims, crybabies don’t do well in attracting success. Why? It’s not about their capability, it’s not about their talent. It’s about their reaction to problems. I’ve met a lot of talented people who is always complaining. When the system fails, they are the one who point fingers. They are retreating from the problem. They have millions of reasons to explain how this failure is not their doing. It was everyone’s fault but not theirs. Problems got thrown away for others to fix.

Successful people I know (and read about) do not retreat. They take responsibility. Once you start taking responsibility, you’ll feel accountable and start solving real problems and move towards success.

There can be so many people who are responsible for your success, but only you are responsible for your failure.

Get Rid of Victim’s Mindset

Things does not happen to you. It happens because of you. Late for school, fail to operate a startup or stuck in the rain. You can say anything whether your alarm clock does not go off, your co-founder is not good enough… I could go on with this list for days. These are all excuses.

Victims are ones who got affected. They always got caught up in somebody’s success or failure. These people go to different places as their live take them. Victims never take action and believe in the norm. They will pick on you if you start acting out of the norm.

Do not be a victim, be the one who takes action

The key here is to take action and believe in your gut. There will be harsh words. There will be someone trying to stop you from doing it. My advice is to keep going. Your job is to prove them wrong.

However, don’t mistake confident with stubbornness. You also need to establish your baseline for quitting. If things do not go well, you’ll know which action you should take. This way you will focus on your action rather than the event that has happened. You will fix your problem not throwing it to other people. You will be able to quit the blame game.

Thank you for reading

My name is Tino Thamjarat. A Ruby on Rails developer at Oozou. I love discussing everything. Business ideas, philosophy, physics, religion, tech, gaming, you name it. I also play League of Legend and a little bit of music once in a while. If you need a website, want to give some advice/comments or just need some guy to talk to, feel free to contact me on my Twitter or Instagram.

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