Who is She?

She used to build nature out of playdough 
And give meaning to paper
This is who she is
This is who she is born to be

A child with innocence lost
To girl groups and crop tops
None of them know better so no harm cost
This is who she wants to be…for now

Fastforward to years later
Hormones racing, bodies changing
Peer pressure, calling names, shaming
She has never felt more alone
Her self-esteem is low
Who is she?

She thinks, it’ll all be over soon
If I just change, they’ll love me
Then maybe I’ll love myself too
Who does she want to be?

She tries so hard
But it’s never good enough
Everyone around her kills
Their words ammunition
Her soul evaporates slowly
Picks up that knife
To die before they do
But she puts it down
Who has she become?

She makes friends
Gets on that honour roll
A bit of a choir geek, but she’s on a roll
Sent in her admissions, pursuing that passion
This feels more like her

Acceptance
Goes to school for her dream
Frosh life, new her, new me
No one knows her for what she used to be
She can be who she wants to be

Coed fantasy
Experimentation is inevitably
Finding out where she thinks she could see
Her being
Who does she want to be?

Her validation comes at a price
Short skirts, low tops, anything for some tips
Is she selling the soul for that dough?
Is this who she has become?

Years later, she reconnects
With the people she used to know
Smokes a little, drinks a little
But she stops
This isn’t the girl she used to know

Used, abused
For her money, her body, her shoes
This is the life she chooses
Is this really her?

Avenges her enemies
Finds justice
This infidelity is unknowing
She knows this isn’t her

Then she participates
Assimilates
Does unto others as what’s being on to her
She’s been good for too long
It never ends
She will never be the same

Shouts back, writes down
Proves everyone wrong and documents their wrongs
For the world to see
How empty they can really be
Is that them? Is that her? Is that me?

She becomes numb
Follows in their lead
She’s mean
Takes what’s not her’s
Spends the night with who’s already spoken for
She knows
This is who she is now

How did she become everything she used to hate?
Everything she was so against
Everything they would represent
How can she go back to who she is?
Only time will tell
And the truth will set her free.