“Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?” Why This Common Belief Isn’t Always True.

Insights from Westchester County’s leading Betrayal Recovery Specialist, Vanessa Cardenas.

There’s a popular saying: Once a cheater, always a cheater.

What if, what if, it is not ALWAYS? Vanessa Cardenas, Westchester's leading Betrayal Recovery Specialist explores this common belief that potentially destroys relationships that could be mended.

But from both personal experience and my professional training in betrayal recovery, I know this statement isn’t always accurate. People love to rely on this phrase, almost like a preemptive scare tactic, similar to the famous Public Service Announcement of the 1980s, “This is your brain; this is your brain on drugs.” It’s meant to instill fear and encourage a certain behavior — like staying away from drugs or avoiding untrustworthy partners.

Any questions? Famous Public Service Announcement to warn of drug use.

During my third year of studies, I researched this concept in the context of infidelity. I wanted to explore whether the idea of Once a cheater, always a cheater was just another scare tactic used to make people wary of relationships with anyone who has ever cheated. It was a fascinating dive into how fear-based messages can shape our perceptions of infidelity and trust.

At times, I imagined an extreme visual representation of this idea—like in childhood stories with severe…