Signing in… 12.42am

To be perfectly frank I’m not really quite sure what I’m doing here. That or I am completely sure, which is why I’m here in the first place, and I’m just lying to myself. That seems pretty reasonable.

I guess I know why I’m here but more than anything I don’t know why I decided to do it like this: in blog format, on the web, under a name that is very impersonal to keep myself anonymous.

I could do this differently. I could write about my mental health and #mentalbreakdown in a personal diary kept under my pillow or some bullshit like that. I don’t need to post about my faltering confidence or my failing relationship with my mother and father on the internet. And I have no intention of ever letting anyone I know personally read this account. But I never keep track of journals and I don’t know…maybe I feel that it will help this way. Maybe I’ll keep bullet journal-ing in my Iron Man notebook about how much water I drank that day and whether or not I remembered to take my meds or eat breakfast. And maybe this will be the place that I put my thoughts down. I type faster than I write anyway.

Maybe I’m just kind of hoping I reach someone. Maybe that person is me.

If you’ve found this blog, I hope it helps you. Someway. Somehow.

-vix