Wednesday
Wednesday
Sep 8, 2018 · 2 min read

Please forgive me that I can never seem to let go
I am still learning to balance those things which represent my life as it was
with my life as it is now
I know that I am queen of dramatics

prone to tears
prone to “spells

prone to always feeling way too much

I know that I should give it a rest

I know that things are okay
that they will be okay

that I am physically fine

I know

I am trying
I swear

Please forgive that even though I have so much to be thankful for
to be happy for
that I am still sometimes too sad to notice much of it

And not for any particular reason

I do not cling to my pain in hopes of being fixed or being saved
I am just…
stuck

In some ways, it feels as though I have always been
stuck

I am not always unhappy
I am not always so glaringly
obviously
painfully

redundant and boring

but for when I am..
I ask your patience

I am learning
still
to put things behind me
to glance back at them only when they give me good reason to

to use them to improve and shape the future I am still fighting for
because I am still fighting

I haven’t given up

I am not a lost cause

I am not a damaged shell

I am whole
it is just that
sometimes it is easier to carry the familiar parts of myself
than to nurture the emerging parts of myself

because I do not know them
and I am still so uncomfortable around strangers

Wednesday

Written by

Wednesday

Artist, Activist, Rant Dispenser, Huge Nerd, Sorta Weird

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