Thank you so much for sharing your story. Gosh mine is very similar! I was abandoned pretty much at 3 years old when I was adopted by the wicked witch and her husband. And it went on right up until I was 17 and left home because I could no longer take it anymore. I am a work in progress too, still at the age of 42. But I believe that we are all works in progress until the day our physical body departs our existence on this earth. It is good to be self-aware that we are always a work in progress, because that is how growth and lasting change occurs.
I’ve been in therapy for years too. Gaining the trust of a therapist years ago is what truly taught me that I could be safe in telling my secrets. Our secrets make us sick, so having even just one person to reveal our deeply private, innermost demons to can be life changing. It wasn’t until I began to gain the trust of a therapist that I began to learn that yes, I can trust others too. I have gambled with that trust with others in the past and lost. But I look at it like this — at least I am no longer living in fear.
I too do not surround myself with a great number of friends. Those in my inner-circle number less than five. But scientific research shows that humans can only maintain about four close relationships with others, and I believe that to be true. Remember, it is not the quantity of friends that matters, but rather is the quality of friends that matters.
Thank you again for sharing!