Long Distance Relationships — Worth every bit of it !!
Being a typical, I too dreaded Long Distance Relationships. Having read and heard from friends that no one survives it, hence I was always averse of it. The logic was simple, relationships break even though we are in the same city and in a Long Distance all odds are against us. thus the chances of drifting apart are predictable. But at times some experiences change the way we see things.
I am currently in a Long Distance Relationship — Forget different cities; we are not even in the same country J. We both had our apprehensions when we started to know each other , as our previous relationships had failed even with the close proximity with our partners. But we wanted to give this a genuine shot and went with the flow……So net net…..we started off on a positive note which was the key.
I did go through the phase wherein I looked up articles and videos on whether Long Distance Relationships work and if they do, what should be done. There were so many articles about Ground Rules, Pros and Cons, What to expect etc, but somehow I wasn’t convinced that I would want to implement those rules just because I am in a so called Long Distance Relationship.
I finally realised, it’s not about the distance……it’s about how the two people are. Having no prior experience of being in a Long Distance Relationship and not following the protocols, we still have a healthy relationship (Touch Wood J). I would hence wanna share some things that went well for us and why it is worth it.
The Efforts: All relationships require efforts, and in a LDR (Please don’t me type the whole thing J) the efforts are also constant. Here you learn to value the other person’s efforts more as you are going through the same thing…..basically you both are equals. Thus the trust and respect comes naturally. I wouldn’t say that it’s like playing blind…..but you tend to see positivity in everything. Also, don’t make it obvious that just because you are in a LDR, there needs to be additional efforts…….
Communication: Pure conversation becomes the base of the relationship. There is no love at first sight, physical attraction or infatuation as a start of the relationship. As you are relying only on 2 senses — Hearing and Seeing (Skype/Facetime), there are lesser distractions. You learn to be more expressive as your partner cannot read you or see you all the time. This strong foundation helps in sustaining the relation.
Having said that, we both strongly believe that one should not over communicate. I have seen people who expect to be constantly connected and even the experts recommend it. But, I don’t like being connected all the time…… like knowing where he is at the moment, sharing hour by hour daily schedules…..Nah…..that is boring and routine. I like the surprise element in a conversation; hence the next point is Surprises
Element of Surprise: We keep bringing in the surprise element by doing stuff like sending a voice Note, Random Selfies, Short Videos etc, this shoots up the excitement In a LDR, you are never bored……you are always curious and inquisitive as you get to know your partner slowly…..thus the fizz stays for long HeHe. Creative ways of interacting become natural as you cannot park things for the weekend meet….. Everything is now and at the moment
Space: One of the things that I love about a LDR is that you do not have to ask for “Space” or “Me time”. You can anytime take your “Me time” and go back into the relationship rejuvenated even without your partner realising that you were away. This has also worked for us as we aren’t hovering over each other all the time. The stuff like spending time with friends, going for parties over weekends or just lazing does not impact your partner as there is anyways nothing much that can happen as you are away J
You learn to be a Marwari: This is my favourite. You learn to make the most of whatever time you have with each other. Be it a quick 2 minute phone call or a 10 minute chat between office meetings. Whatever time you spend with your partner you make the most of it and don’t bring in any negativity. You know that you are not going home to your partner, hence there is very little scope of being taken for granted.
In Person Meets: The infrequent in person meets are very different. Something that we plan and look forward to and when it happens it is steamingJ. I need not say any more……..
Your first reaction after reading this article might be…..There isn’t anything different that they are doing even though they are in a Long Distance Relation. You have got it right……….that the trick it doesn’t have to be different…….it just needs to be genuine……….