All those resolutions
I started a rather successful blog on December 31st, 2007. There were no beauty blogs, not many that I knew of, and I decided to write about something that I’m passionate about: hair. Then all of those other beauty blogs came along and I kind of got lost in the midst of it all, specially because I went through a very rough/tough time in my personal/professional life. All happened at once when I turned 30: I got divorced, I had a major health problem and went through surgery and then, finally, I got fired. Or rather, I was “invited” to leave. Also, I had a brief and intense relationship to someone who’s very sick in the head, and that also was pretty bad on me. So, by the beginning of 2009, I was a wreck. And I gave up blogging, which was something that I really like(d) doing and that I had been doing ever since I got on hold of this thing called the internet.
I gave up on many of the things that I liked doing. I had no pleasure in doing anything, actually. Those were dark times and I was lucky that I managed to live for a year without working and mainly being depressed, really depressed and spending all my money to the last penny. I was lucky because otherwise I might not have survived all that shit that happened to me in that period.
Then, obviously, life went on. I met my husband, he helped me out of the depression, I got another job, I went to live in another place, I lost some friends and made new ones (better ones, I’d say), I got married again, I had a child, and again, something made me get lost again in the midst of all that, and I soon saw myself sinking into another depression. Not so horrible as the first time, but just as draining.
I sought help. I took medicine. Heck, I’m still kinda taking medicine. Nothing was really helping. I came to the conclusion that my therapist never really supports me in anything. Every idea I come up with, she tells me that I’m too radical, that I won’t stick to my plans, that I’d rather go slowly, that I can’t be the pain in the neck mom at school (well, I AM! Someone has to be and I don’t mind being the asshole, as someone’s gotta speak up for the children, against all that institutionalization crap that still rules how schools go), and so on and so forth. So, not really much of help to me.
But then luckily my husband and I got to buy really cheap tickets to New York City. And we went, for the 1st time, just the 2 of us, on a trip after our daughter was born. There’s nothing, I mean, NOTHING, better than travelling. This is what we are all born to do. And if you say that you don’t like to travel, then I am SO SO sorry for you.
Being away from my daughter, my home, my country, for just a week was time enough for me to open my eyes for a lot of things that I hadn’t been able to see in such a long, long time. I realized that I am not a very grateful person, even though I have so much to be grateful for. That what’s been keeping me to DO all those things that I’ve been saying that I was going to do was me and no one else. That I had to stop being so harsh on myself and so judgmental on others. That I have it together. That I’m much luckier than many people. And that’s why I decided to write again. Because I have things to say. And I think other people might want to hear me, read me.
So I’m starting again, on the verge of a new year. Because I think 2016 is going to be the year when most of all those resolutions will be fulfilled. And I wish you can do the same.
Let 2016 begin.