7 steps to avoid feedback faux pas
“Can you smile more? People think you’re aloof” 😳
That was genuine feedback from an old manager of mine during an appraisal.
I was very tempted to say Britain needs Loofs, but I didn’t think she’d get it.
Aloof! Moi?
Turns out I have quite the resting b*tch face when I’m concentrating.
[By the way, why isn’t there a male equivalent for this?]
I might not look like the friendliest person when I’m concentrating, but I spend most of my working day smiling with clients, because I love what I do. So ‘aloof’ really jars.
That’s the only appraisal I remember — it was in the 1990s. Funny how a throwaway comment like that can follow you through life.
For the line managers out there who find it hard to give feedback, I’m here for you. Here are 7 steps for giving constructive feedback:
- Have you heard of the feedback sh*t sandwich? Start with the positive, then deliver the opportunity for improvement, and end with more positivity.
2. Be specific, giving examples of what your colleague did well and what could be improved, with suggested action points.
3. Focus on behaviour, not personality: there’s no need to criticise their personality or character.
4. Use “I” statements: describe how you feel about their performance. Rather saying “You’re not meeting expectations,” say “I was expecting to see more progress on this project.” It takes away the accusation.
5. Offer suggestions for improvement: Give them some tangible objectives to review at the next meeting.
6. Incentivise and motivate them to meet those objectives.
7. Check in and follow up after giving feedback. Even if you deliver feedback sensitively, it can still sting.
What would you add?
Have you ever received useless or insensitive feedback like I did?
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P.S. I post about communications, careers and confidence on LinkedIn most weekdays (around 8.30am). Ring the 🔔 on my profile page so you don’t miss a post. See you then?
