The Simulation of Work

About how Johnny Deep is responsible for the navigational error of Christopher Columbus

Do you sometimes have the sensation that your boss wants to always see you busy and engaged? Doesn't matter if you have already finished your tasks and have nothing to do. Maybe this is the stress generator…. not the doing of the work but the need to simulate it. Imagine how tired one can be after a long day of simulation: every day, simulate the enthusiasm, simulate the activity and energy, simulate that you don’t steal the company’s goods. Believe me, this is very hard work to do!

The one thing that tires me to death is staring at the computer screen. I try to strain the muscles of my face and look very concentrated, as if the company’s destiny depends on what I am doing right now. Well, of course there are moments at work when the intensity of my look and posture may be justified. This happens when I am occupied with a highly complex single player shooting game…. you have to focus really hard in order to spot all the enemies.

As you can imagine, I can’t do this all the time! I am aware that I am surrounded by my coworkers and that I have to be respectful to them and the work space. You know how highly the importance of teamwork is emphasized. Of course, we try to follow these ideals…. by engaging in multi-player online strategy games! It’s no surprise that we feel so tired at the end of the day. After destroying the orcs’ army, the only thing that a winner wants is to celebrate it with doughnuts and Coca-Cola! All this has to be done very skillfully such that the boss has the impression that we have finished a very important work project.

Actually, I am wondering how the work simulation skill evolved over time. And how the lack of motivation and responsibility of the workers has influenced history. Think, for example, about the case of Christopher Columbus. I bet that his ship would have arrived safely in India if the sailors had avoided procrastination. But no! They had to play cards, train the captain’s parrot do drink rum and film the third part of the “Pirates of the Caribbean”. After reaching the new continent, they blamed Johnny Depp for the mistake. Typical!

Or, for example, due to a misinterpretation of a negligent church clerk, an entire social persecution was enacted. It’s easy to confuse the words inquisition and malnutrition. Thus, maybe the representative of the Church was ordered to help malnourished women, and while playing tic-tac-toe with his coworker, the clerk misplaced the words in the official paper. Who knows? Well, the main lesson that history teaches us is… to mark the center or the corner of the tic-tac-toe square.
Having said that, I have to get back to my work; my boss is already directing angry looks at me. And I don’t blame him. I am the main healer and this time, the orc’s army is bigger than ever! Here you can find more funny reading!