Your mind is your mind,
And I can’t grab the shadows from it and incinerate them for you.
When the shadows creep in, all I want to do is engulf them in a fire so hot they’ll never return.
I want to shine a torch into all the bad places and expel the dark shapes and exorcize the devilish whispers that lie to your sweet soul.
But sometimes I can’t, and I double over in physical heartache.
And I know you’ve thought in fleeting moments of terror how to disappear.
Your mind is your mind and my body isn’t there,
but I can put my hands on your shoulders and look into your eyes and give you the sight of my heart now:
I need you, because you keep me strong.
Because your sensitive soul is something I need to stay here, too.
Because when I think about my life,
I see you in it.
And I see the coffee you love and the see-you-next-times and the way you run fullspeed to me when I come back to visit,
And I can feel your arms around me and the radiance of your smile after months of being apart and there’s a beautiful cord tying us together, it’s almost tangible, can’t you see it?
I see you with me, and I can’t kill those shadows or shine that torch inside you,
but I always feel the things that happened
and the things that will happen
because I have faith that you’ll hold out with me.
That we’ll make it through.
[ —when I think about my life. ]
by Syd Wachs