Wedding planning

“I’m definitely walking down the aisle to this song,” says single man of five years.

A man who has never been in a serious relationship before declared today that when he gets married he will walk down the aisle to the strains of Oasis — Cast No Shadow.

Ruairi Quinn, a 32 year old rural bachelor from Fermanagh in Northern Ireland, made the raucous announcement to a table of his peers after returning from the toilet and buying his fifth pint.

“I’d been thinking about it for a while, you know, and when it came on the radio and those Gallagher brothers sang that bit where it goes ‘Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay’ in agonising unison, I just realised that this was the song I had to pick.

When it was pointed out that this line doesn’t entirely chime with the marital concept, Mr Quinn, whose last serious gift to a partner was some candy floss and a Star Bar on an aborted second date at the Ould Lammas Fair, was as honest as the day is long:

“But sure it sounds deep and meaningful.”

The assembled company had a few more drinks before the subject was broached about what would happen in the event the blushing bride doesn’t like Liam Gallagher’s outbursts.

“Sure there’s always the first dance, Come on Eileen,” said Mr Quinn with a wink, as he signalled for another.

Like what you read? Give Sean Moss a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.