The benefit of differentiating your emotions, even the negative ones:
Several research studies have shown that the ability to differentiate your emotions can reinforce your emotional intelligence. This means that the more you are able to perceive the distinction in each negative emotion you feel, the more you will be able to regulate these emotions and prevent them from getting worse.
When people feel bad, most of the time, they have a hard time describing exactly what and how they are feeling. All they know is they are not feeling good, they are feeling something negative. However, there are a few people who are able to explain very precisely their emotions. They are even capable of perceiving the nuances in each one. Usually, these people have higher emotional intelligence and they can manage better their emotions.
Why is it important to differentiate your emotions?
If you can differentiate your emotions and perceive the distinctions among your emotions, it means that you understand the complexity of your emotions. You are conscious of your emotions. You are able to focus in order to avoid being overwhelmed by your negative emotions. These faculties allow you to regulate better your emotions. Instead of trying to ignore or push back your negative emotions or respond to them by behaving aggressively, violently, or doing something extreme, you are able to react with less intensity because you can shift your focus from your negative emotions. You can detach yourself easier from the situation, which means you have a better chance that things will not get worse for you.
For example, let’s say you had a fight with someone you truly care about. You are feeling very bad after this fight. If you are not able to describe in details how you are feeling (I’m angry, frustrated, sad, disappointed etc…) then you have a higher chance of reacting in an extreme way and ending up hurting the other person.
In these situations, differentiation of emotions can also save you from making bad decision based on faulty judgements.
How can you be better at this?
The good news is that you can learn how to explore your emotions in depth and broaden your spectrum of emotions. Training will help you expand your vocabulary of emotions and, in return, enable you to regulate your emotions better.
Learning techniques involve keeping track of your emotional experiences by writing about them. Verbalize in details the emotions you felt, their intensity, and the emotional changes you faced during these experiences. Try to go in depth by analyzing the situation chronologically. Describe what you felt at every step of the situation.
Another technique consists of improving your vocabulary of emotions by trying to link each word representing an emotion to a situation describing this emotion. For example, prepare a list of emotions and start with the basic ones such as fear, joy, surprise, sadness, anger, and disgust. Then try to describe a scenario where you feel one of these emotions. Then pick one of the basic emotions and the different granulations of it.
Let’s take fear. Fear is a basic emotion that can take different forms depending on the level of intensity, from feeling terrorized or worried, to insecure or panicked. These emotions are quite different from each other and it is sometimes difficult to distinguish them. Imagine and verbalize a scenario where you are experiencing these emotions. It will allow you to integrate and associate each emotion with the right representation of it.
If you repeat this exercise each time you are experiencing a strong emotion, you can increase your ability to differentiate your emotions and, in return, to regulate them.
Source:
Kashdan, T.B., Feldman Barrett, L., McKnight, P.E., (2015). Unpacking emotion differentiation: transforming unpleasant experience by perceiving distinctions in negativity. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 24(1) 10–16.
