I’m a journalist, and a complete introvert
My experience with being ‘the quiet one’ and the desire to be successful
I’m in grad school with the goal to become a journalist. My whole life, I knew that I wanted to be creative and not have that typical nine to five desk job. I wanted more, something exciting, a profession where I could express myself and where every new day would be different from the one before.
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved telling stories, and I remember the many times my dad and my mom encouraged me to pursue writing later on in life.
When I write, I can express things that I would normally have trouble saying out loud, which I assume is the case for all writers. So I knew my whole life that writing would be part of my future. I just didn’t know if I could ever have a successful career in writing.
It wasn’t until I moved away from Germany and to the U.S. a few years ago, when I found out that journalism could be the answer to those questions.
Before I joined the campus newspaper, I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to write for them, because I wasn’t a native speaker. I thought I didn’t have the skills to write newspaper articles on a level that would be accepted.
Turns out, they welcomed me with open arms, and to my disbelief, my English skills were good enough. A year after joining the paper, I was promoted to become Editor-in-Chief, the first non-native speaking editor the paper ever had.
So I thought, maybe I can really do this. Maybe, I could become a journalist, and actually make a living writing and telling real stories.
Now I’m here at the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism, and I’m really trying my best to do well in my classes, and to use this big chance to start off a successful career in journalism.
My Biggest Struggle
The one thing I’ve struggled with the most so far, though, is that I’m very quiet. I’ve been like that my entire life.
When you think of a journalist, you normally picture someone who is extroverted, easy-going and someone who has no issues talking to people.
When I look at myself, I see someone who is very much an introvert, an observer more so than a participant, and someone who still has troubles really believing in herself sometimes.
When I look at my classmates of the CUNY Social Journalism program, I almost can’t believe how I got so lucky to be one of them. Every single one of these people is so smart, fun and has done so many great things in their lives. I feel like I learn so much from just talking to them, and being surrounded by them has inspired me to dream those big dreams.
However, I’m one of the quiet ones in the group, and in the beginning, this really frustrated me. I felt like I needed to be more vocal in class discussions, and I needed to get out of my comfort zone to impress my teachers.
I had incredibly high expectations of myself, and I worried that if I didn’t stand out and excel on the highest level, I was failing, and ultimately, doomed to ever make it in this industry.
It’s Okay
We’re 5 weeks into the semester, and at this point I have gotten feedback on my work from teachers as well as classmates, and based on that, I do think I’m doing well overall. Obviously, there is always room for improvement, but I wouldn’t be going to school to learn if I was already perfect.
Something else I found out is that I’m not alone when it comes to worrying about school and assignments and the future. Actually, a lot of my classmates told me that they feel the same way.
So I think just because I may not be the loudest in the class, the one that always talks, the one that likes to be the center of attention, it doesn’t mean that I can’t be a good journalist.
I know I can be.
When it comes to my profession, I know I have the skills that will make me a good journalist, and me being a naturally quiet person won’t stand in the way of that.
Journalist Rick Morton wrote a piece about this very topic, called “The Quiet Reporter,” where he quotes author Susan Cain and her book “Quiet,” which deals with the subject of introverts.
In her book, Cain talks about Harvard University psychology lecturer Brian Little, “who coined Free Trait Theory. It essentially means people can act outside themselves in the pursuit of ‘core personal projects’.”
“In other words,” Cain writes, “introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.”
When I read that, I knew that I would be okay. What Cain wrote in her book perfectly described me, and it finally put my mind at ease.
I think most of the time, I stand in my own way, and this is what is the most difficult to overcome.
At the end of the day, I am the way I am, and I wouldn’t be where I am today if I was any different. I wouldn’t have become an editor of my school paper if the extrovert wasn’t inside of me, lurking and waiting to come out when it’s really necessary. And I wouldn’t have been accepted into the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism, along with my awesome classmates.
We are all different and great in our own way, and nobody should have to change to fit a certain mold, or to be considered perfect for a certain job.
The only one who needs to truly believe that I can do good things is myself; only then, the rest of the world will follow.
