Humility In Humanity

Pride goes before a fall. And yet be very proud of who you are. The fine line between these two sentences you will have to figure out. Humility is one of the fundamental virtues that sets up our lives to be enriching and fully satisfying. I am not talking about pretense or the calculating manoveurs of a manipulator. Humility relating with others. Humility in service. Humility in kindness. Humility opens up the door to true human connection. Someone who lives without humility will not truly experience the fullness in the various interactions we have with others.

Humility goes hand in hand with respect. Since integrity breeds respect which is in turn reciprocal, you cannot want or afford respect without inculcating humbleness. Truth be told, there are those who occupy lofty positions in this world. They are mostly not even by their own wishes cut off from the everyday opportunity to show kindness through humility. Their positions themselves attract genuflections and bows. Before they make an entrance, the scene is rearranged to accord them all the respect even though what they would have wanted personally would be a little chance to indulge in the sweet human connection that cuts across every status or power. This is where humanity comes in. The difference between one person in such position of power who remains humble and the other who gives up trying is the level of humanity they bring to play. Humility is something that cannot be faked. Most people will rather you leave them alone than insult them with pretense. They feel like life has already done that so no need rubbing it in.

Humility is required of servitude. The extra tidiness of a waitress. The subtle bow of a butler. The prefixes and suffixes of an assistant. The patience of an apprentice. It makes sense. You cannot want something and be rude about it. You have to be humble to learn. There was this story about a catholic saint. I cannot remember the name of this saint was it Thomas Aquinas? I am not sure, but I know this saint is a patron of education or students I guess that’s why St. Thomas Aquinas came to mind. Anyway, this man wasn’t very good in Latin and had to learn from a kid of about 12. His tutor, the boy, was intelligent but didn’t understand why this saint back then couldn’t grasp anything. He will slap this man that was older than him. There is a level of insult inherent in a slap. But this saint endured and went on to be scholar in this profession. Going on to become a patron saint students who have hard time learning call on to. I guess I should have researched to find the name, but I remembered this story as I just started writing. I wouldn’t dare compare myself to a saint. But humility in learning helped me out during my days as an undergraduate. In my first year, during the first semester exam I failed Mathematics which was pretty much a university-wide course. The question paper looked alien to me that morning and there was no correlation between how hard I prepared and what I saw during the exam. When the results came out I already knew I will fail the paper, so I cautioned myself never to fail again for the 5 years of study which I maintained. But heck, I had to rewrite the course. I wasn’t up to it in my second year. In my third year, I decided it was time to face this subject. I had my 3rd year lectures to attend so there was no way I could double back to meet up with first year Mathematics which was always crowded to start with. I had to seek the tutelage of a fresher. He called on me whenever he wanted which made sense right? I would be chilling with the big boys and my phone will ring with an ultimatum to be in a particular hall within a short period. Most times I wouldn’t even be in school. But I would dress up or drop what I was doing and run out. My classmates would laugh at me. I will return with an assignment from a first year student. Should I have allowed pride to get the best of me, I wouldn’t have passed the course the second time. Looking back now, I didn’t think I would have understood the subject if anybody else had taught it.

But be careful though. There are many people once they notice any sign of humility they mistake it for meekness. They take advantage of you. I have experienced that. We all have. I was thinking about this yesterday and remembered an advice my grandma gave me during those days as a student. She kept repeating an advice to me and I never knew why. It was after I graduated that what she said played out, but even then, I didn’t realize until it hit me yesterday. She would say. "You’re intelligent and many people will want you to write something for them. Don’t do that because when you stop they will turn against you." I had an experience similar to this which made me shudder thinking about it yesterday. Anyway, humility is more about giving for your reward is certain. That’s good karma.