When Fakeness Reveals
Ouch, what an awkward moment. It depends on what fakeness means to you anyway. Here I mean pretense, a little lie, a little bit more effort to fit in, smiling but not meaning it, purchasing that stuff you can’t afford—we all have been there, etc. We are allowed a little wiggle room this life, isn’t it? But what happens when one or two people you look up to who presented themselves as something representing a nice paradigm you choose to elect for your life turn out to be outright fake? Plain. What happens? You accommodate them because behind the facade they are human beings. It’s just like when you realized Santa is well…Santa what do you expect from him anyway? You go on with the Christmas festivities because Santa might mean more to others and in as much as you’re disappointed you shouldn’t spoil the fun for those who aren’t.
Hard to talk about “fakeness” and not mention the opposite “realness.” We live in a digital era and even before that, we humans present our better selves for lots of reasons you know better than I do. Some people work in industries where more of that is needed — a persona. For profit and show up, they present a version of realness and believe that till you encounter their “real” side. There are no agreed-upon yardsticks for measuring what realness is. At this point in life, I do not care. I judge less. I blame less. I have come to understand whether big or small, the inherent selfish primal desire to survive and prosper drives our characters. No matter the pretense, some parts slip through — that side-eye that escapes your conscious grip once in a while, that offhand comment that rolls off your tongue, etc. I am not perfect myself so I accommodate as much as I can and keep it moving, reserving my strength to better live my realness. I expect the next person to do the same while we all consider fairness.
The disappointment which inspires this post involves having a role model. Look, all motivational speaker shit aside, be really careful with this one. Do you know what is salt? Go and buy it because you need to assimilate things out there with a pinch of it. Always. Me no feed you paranoia or mistrust. The last thing you want is to spend resources, energy, and if you are unlucky a lifetime, shaping up your life according to the teachings and lifestyle of these idols, inspiring figure(s) only to wake up one day and realize…and it’s not because they are bad or anything you probably forgot the salt I talked about. As I said, we are all humans no matter the positions you see people take. Understanding that has given me required peace. My advice? Do you need it? Am I real? He prolly fake right? What is he on? Whatever, I wish I am on that pretense tip I do but am not. My advice is to sit down. Pace around if that’s better. However you choose to get in touch with your inner self, do that. Have you done that? Ask and answer yourself who are you? What things do you desire? What things do you believe in? No one needs to know the answers to this but please whatever it is hold on to them. Those answers define who you are, the paths you tread, and the decisions you make. They will help you when things get tough. That understanding is what will save you.
It’s one thing to encounter oppositions in life. One way or the other that’s a given. It’s another to have your backside handed back to you by the “real ones." Dig a bit further, you realize that you probably never should have belittled your power to focus on fairytales, lies, and manipulations.
When fakeness reveals, there is this nauseating feeling of floating. Everything becomes shallow, but watch out for the coverups. You gotta snap out of your initial reaction of reverie fast because much more might come to make up for what you are experiencing. And what you call fakeness might be someone’s keeping it real so who is to judge? That’s why it’s important to define who you are and hold on tight. Don’t matter if yesterday’s realness is today’s fakeness. Don’t matter what they call it. Don’t matter what’s going on you don’t lose yourself.
Tell me how do you react to seeing an adult holding up a baby’s toy high out of the reach of this baby because the adult is taller. Meanwhile, the adult is sweating while the baby is calmly looking at this adult waiting for him or her to stop pretending their arms are not aching? From a distance, it looks like the adult has all the power and it might be, but analyzing deeper you find newer meanings.
I used to hold lots of things, people, and situations in high regard, but now I just shrug things off. I have come to realize there is more to human personality. It comes down to perspectives and the weight, meanings, and value we attach to stuff. The moment I switched, yes, switched the way I understood things and approach life, all those unnecessary stress that comes with placing value on valueless ideologies and spins purported by people who want more, in any case, I claimed my well-deserved relief. Going all the way to say the storm is over.
I don’t hold on to disappointments that much because who is perfect? I have had people who expected more from me when less is not even affordable, dwindle. Decrease. Diminish. So who has time to point fingers? I only try to understand what it means to be human. Changing perspectives, starting fresh, keeping on, whichever way there is nothing wrong with that. And never give up. Stay away from those who want everything you have and are for themselves. Those who only see gains. Those who mask their dangerous selves with acts of love. Stay away because when you find out and react. Your reaction becomes the “fakeness” the world sees. And if you don’t have those who care for you unconditionally or have your best interests in their heart, if you can’t stand strong—hehehehe. You will get to know what the time it isn’t. Plain.
Be very aware of those who try to trap you with the “You’re not real” line. Those who always say this is how it’s done. Of course, you have to know what the time it is in the first place. The truth, the naked truth. Aye, we hate truths, don’t we? Hidden behind that “Keep it real” is some processes that might have been affected to their advantage and your disadvantage. Usually, finding this out is the “You’re fake.” Do you follow? Are you surprised? Common wake up that’s life. In that person’s situation, you might have even done worse. Don’t worry much about trying to make sense of every detail. Always trust your guts.
I am grateful to platforms like Medium that provide an avenue for creatives like me to write things like this. Here, I am not trying to create trendy articles and hustle for eyeballs. They are all good, but what I do here right now with this account is pouring it out. Fake or real, it's up to you to interpret. The shock and consequences of certain reveals are why am doing this anyway. I have resolved to stick to the real me, appreciating those who help along the way. There is so much noise out there. Writing here is one way I maintain my balance. Real, fake, or new reveal?