The idea of being cured bothers me.
Nikita Mélusine

Just caught up on this discussion. There is a rather high incidence of PTSD in the transcommunity. Health professionals seem to dismiss it, “You got what you wanted, didn’t you!?” which is a lot like telling a survivor of combat that he/she came home alive, so what are they all in agony about, which misses what PTSD is.

If you have PTSD you must be going through “regret” and that maybe transitioning was a mistake — again like saying, “Why didn’t you die in combat?”

And so what is it to be “cured?’ Part of any cure is reclaiming childhood as in the title of the film, Girl Interrupted, but with a completely different meaning. It is a horrible thing to have one’s girlhood stolen by caregivers and figures of authority.

I think I am the only person of transition who thinks about this or who has given it a go — trying to reclaim and recapture what has been stolen. When I bring it up to other women of transition, the silence is deafening, likely because there are few strategies to recover girlhood. I can give one example for the lesbian community back in the Bay Area in the 1990s where a couple would attend the lesbian prom dressed to the nines in gowns and wearing corsages.

For me curing was not forgetting as much as it was regaining while at the same time having a strong grip on reality.

Finally, time heals all wounds, or so they say. The longer one lives on the other side, the dimmer the memory. About 15 years ago I heard of a formula to adjust age for people to transition. Take your actual age and add the years full-time post-transition and then divide that number by two and that is the adjusted social age. Two examples on the extremes. A person of transition is 24 and starts living full time and gets asked out. The formula is ((24+0)/2)=12. And she said she felt like a 12 year old going out with a 26 year old man. On the other end of the spectrum, a woman of transition is now 72 years old and she has been living full time for 44 years. ((72+44)/2)=63, which means she’s pretty settled into womanhood, though a bit young at heart, still. Okay, one more. A person is 46 and has been fulltime for 12 years, ((46+12)/2)=29. Get out there and date, you!!!! And no one will be against you being a cougar as you are actually 29!