Sometimes I wonder if it is just because most people don’t like uncertainty or to expose themselves…
Lorenzo L Pesce
41

My therapist who helped me through transition observed a high divorce rate after of few years of marriage of people in their late 20s. At the time GCS had just become available having been freed from teaching hospitals. Many people who showed up, like me, were in their 20s as well to get GCS.

In an inspired quote, he said, “Up until your 20s a person often tries to fulfill parent’s expectation. You grow up to be who they think you are and you marry a person that fits into all that. Having ‘been there, done that’ a person in their late 20s might be question the life role,” they were assigned at birth — and you don’t have to be trans to have that happen.

He always stressed family dynamics and the role a child had in the family constellation — the comic, the serious one, the black sheep, the wallflower, the wise one. In his observations the person as described by parents and other family members as fitting such roles in the family were actually totally at odds with reality when seen by impartial observers.

Taking it a step further, “You’re not the man I imaged that I would be marrying.” The role of “son” and the role of “daughter” are such roles and families will insist a child fulfill that role.

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