True enough, hormones play havoc with people. Puberty sucks.
Having lived both sides of that hormonal fence I know a bit about the ravages of T-. I also know that E- has its own effects as well. Some of us went through two puberties though as I said earlier, now with blockers that problem is fading away.
The This American Life radio broadcast to which you directed me would have done better to drop the last two segments which were too fluffy for my taste and instead might have gone into how E- affects people. Women are driven by hormones, only it is different. It is why, at least in part, the girl in yoga pants is doing what she is doing. She knows the effect she will have. She does not have physical power in the way men do, so she uses the tools she has available to her.
As for the f to m man, to use your nomenclature, who shoots T- does so because he wants to fit in and be seen as a man and many trans man, though by no means all, to my never-ending surprise, actually liked the hornsters they became.
Full disclosure, I shoot E-
http://virginiahall.net/post/150040812037/long-live-injectable-estrogen-the-feeling-of
and I do so willingly. I HATED T- not just because it is disfiguring but also for the reasons you said. The on switch is always ON.
I am wading in here because I believe you seem to be a sincere person who is asking some solid questions in good faith, but we are about to cross the threshold of two generalized human sexual responses. Don’t think it is only men who are doing the calculus here. Women have their own equations fueled in part by hormones as well.
The differences between dating men as a woman and dating a woman either as a lesbian or a boy are light years apart. One is that you are going out with (usually) a physically more powerful person. Put yourself in that place. Or not? I am looking for some middle ground here and for mutual understanding.
