Is Enoughness Self Esteem?
By María Guadalupe Gómez
I’m going to start this article with this short question in order to pay tribute to the Blumenstein Theory and its creator.
When I heard the word “enoughness” for the first time it was through Ericka Castillo, an excellent professional who introduced me to the subject of “Family as our First Social System”, and invited me to participate in a Human Development training.
Back then I was an ontological coach, and of course the word rang a bell. I couldn’t understand it beyond “being capable”, being capable of doing things…
In the next module from that same training I met Katia Del Rivero, and Michael Blumenstein talking about “enoughness and helplessness”. Then I asked myself as a coach, “Is that the same as self steem?”
I remember that during the counseling and accompaniment I did with people who became unemployed or retired from an organization after more than 50 years, or a leader that didn’t knew how to make a team, and I saw how sad they were not knowing how to face the future (today I would say the uncertainty) from the professional profile I had then I would say to myself: “Guadalupe these people must have a really low self-esteem”.
In accompaniment, besides applying the exercises for them to realize about everything they have on they favor (capacities, abilities, experience, etc.), I tried to make them see a favorable future, one full of possibilities. There were moments when I didn’t knew how and I let them describe the best possible scenario. When my accompaniment was over I saw them more confident (of course, from my reality construction at that time) I understand that, from my heart, I was doing the best I could to cheer them up, and they retired convinced that their future could be different.
When I met my teachers I was going through a very difficult and painful moment in my life and my resources as an ontological coach where not giving me support. I felt just as I saw those who I advised, very sad! And I told myself “My self-esteem is on the floor”. As time went by I understood and felt the “enoughness” and I could distinguish the deep helplessness where I was. Actually, I understood that it’s not the right term to talk about high or low, positive or negative self-esteem, and that to apply measuring quizzes or talking like this about this subject is like qualifying or disqualifying a person.
Today, with all the resources that the Blumenstein Theory provided me, my view would be completely different: I would offer processes and offer forms so people can get out on their own from their helplessness looking their “enoughness to face uncertainty”.
As Michael used to say “whether you see it or not, whether you believe it or not, whether you feel it or not, your enoughness is there, you only have to look at it”. Infinite thanks to my teachers and partners from Visión Sistémica.