The Value of Mental Illness

Have you ever been psychotic, manic or delusional?

I’ve been all three at once multiple times.

My mind has a malfunction known as bipolar type 1 with psychotic features. I’ve had seven psychotic breaks in my life. Each one more severe than the last.

Each psychotic break has had its own unique delusions. Once I thought I was the Second Coming of Jesus. Once I thought my brain was connected to the Internet. Another time I believed I could read the minds of our entire species at once. Perhaps my favorite was when I experienced parallel realities quite viscerally.

Now — it’s not all ups, there’s downs, too. I’ve been severely depressed and suicidal. I’ve spent days unable to care for myself due to losing my will to live.

Yet, throughout all of this, I’ve been grateful for my mental illness. Having a mental illness has provided me with priceless insights and experiences.

Insights Into Consciousness

Over the years, I’ve gotten into meditation, yoga, nutrition and time management skills to help make sense of my mind.

I’ve learned to constantly monitor my own thoughts. I’ve learned that I am not my thoughts, but the consciousness that observes them. I’ve had enlightenment experiences due to a functional understanding of this. Once you pause your own thoughts, the inner silence becomes a wellspring of peace.

You’re also free to observe consciousness.

Consciousness is like the sky, while thoughts are the clouds. Clouds drift by, and sometimes there’s storms. But the sky always remains constant, with the sun shining brightly.

Consciousness is like a vanilla bean. It’s gloriously simple. Thought is outrageously complex, but underneath it all, we have a simple spark of our awakened self.

Consciousness is like a cliff bordering the ocean. The waves of thought crash against it, surrounding it. Yet, the cliff remains resolute and constant, regardless of the intensity of the waves.

As I’ve watched my mind unravel on multiple occasions, I’ve been privy to an intimate undressing of consciousness. I’ve witnessed firsthand the delineation between thoughts and consciousness, and my life has been better because of it.

Blessed Are the Mentally Ill

Anyone struggling with anxiety, depression, manias, schizophrenia, bipolar, OCD and the hundreds other mental illnesses out there are truly blessed.

Why?

Because we have been chosen, either by God or by natural selection, to fundamentally experience reality in a different way.

We struggle to stay in the realm of normality instead of trying to escape it.

We explore realms of thought and consciousness that many people meditate for years to access.

We break free of the mundane world effortlessly.

Truly, having a mental illness provides valuable insights for those who seek them. We don’t need drugs to feel altered, we are always altered. We need a different kind of drugs to feel grounded.

Do you have a mental illness? Do you believe it’s valuable or not? Let’s talk about it in the comments.