
Episode 1 - My Story
I’ve always tried redirecting my thoughts and actions towards something that I’m passionate about.
Music obviously topped the list which I’ve taken it to this special place called nowhere. Wrote a ton of bars (Rap is what’s we’re discussing here) on government, poverty, politics, drugs, violence pretty much the same directions that people suffer from the regularities. Taking the path my heroes have travelled, guys like EMINEM, Pac, RAKIM, Nipsey, etc. as there were my single source of inspiration and outlet. Even my very few friends didn’t know this. Playin’ low key producing my own beats wrote my own songs and rapped to it with not a single visit to the studio. Cause I had this pre-conceived perception of me getting nowhere with this for one reason. India and Gangster Rap is like pretty girl doing dishes. The “Won’t happen” presumption sometimes kills lives. This was way back when I was pursuing my masters.
Eventually I took a slight deviation from Rap scene into the discotheque atmosphere and I have not come across the term DJ. Had no idea about the clubs, night life, EDM, nothing. I produced my own beats however, and have mixed a ton of tracks majorly focusing on Progressive and Deep (Ignore the technical terms) regardless. Then I got introduced to the club scene by a stranger then friend who gave me the opportunity to get my hands on the turntables and crowd control because he recognised that I was sound in technicalities which I didn’t know. He was impressed by my live mixes. Post MBA, I landed in a job with a bank after 2 months of anxiety. Now the elephant is trying to climb the tree.
Couple of years has flown by and everything was on its own pace. Met a stranger at a party, and partnered up with an event management company that he owned. Started gigging in Bangalore from 2010. Extreme lifestyle with sleepless nights of playing at parties and a heavy drinker. Weighing 93 back then, managing 2 boats at the time which is corporate events and the Bank job which was really challenging. But loved one side of the journey which kept me persisting. Wasn’t making anything out of gigs and I was all too blind to see the business side of it. But there was passion and lot more passion. Simultaneously illusional promotions at work kind of kept me in the ring and DJ was a Titanic. It was all going down. Accidentally ran into the gym at work just to check my weight. At that time, I never realised how important was the iron game would be for me in my life.
I got really connected to this trainer at the gym at work and things started taking shape. Perhaps I was taking shape as it was just happening with no serious efforts or consciousness. I really didn’t know what I was doing. After few months, when people at work started noticing, I realized maybe I’m doing something right. Weighing almost 93, I was beefing up and I got big within few months. But am I on the right track by looking bulky or going big? I’m sure I don’t know. More people started to talk about my change at work because everyone knew I was a DJ and a heavy eating heavy drinking fat pig.

Spent few years like this as the health aspect was on track which I was led to believe by the way I felt. Me and my bud at the gym will be sharing food and conversation post training back then. On one particular night as we were fuelling after a workout session, we spoke and decided on ripped physique. Reducing fat and getting jacked was the discussion. I was instantly hooked and juices started flowing in my head. Because the goal was real and it was set. I started to trained. And I trained like a mad dog regardless of my circumstances or time. Trained to a point where I almost forgot the meaning for the word “Excuse”. I was living with my brother then. Funny I used to go for a run at 10 or 11 at night while he and his friends were partying and having a good time. I was even called a foolish psycho by one of his friend to do some crazy act like this. I did everything I possibly can and could see no result that I was looking for. I was on a quest researching everything when it came to food and nutrition. I was geeking out on training and nutrition. But nothing worked out for the result that I wanted. Less than 6% body fat. The worst part is that when you adapt to certain types of food or diet or training, the result won’t be immediate. It’ll take weeks or even months for you to be able to see or tell whether it’s working out or not. Because it’s a human body you see. I was learning and experimenting things on my body. Trial and error and more trial and error and lot more of it. Slowly but very steadily I started realizing what discipline was and I have kept it up to this day as you read this.
Every time I adapt to a certain situation or food or diet, there comes another obstacle. Setbacks after setbacks kept coming along the way which accompanied me. My day is typically a corporate employee day. You know the regular 9 to 11 hours Monday to Friday. I was doing everything I possibly can. I sort of started seeing small changes in my body. And that’s when I took a hit. A major hit on my lower back with deadlift exercise that got me bed ridden for months together. Mental pain was more than physical. People started pitying me at work and asking me why I train so much and laughing in my absence. Criticism is a very noble factor. I was taking trips across states to hospitals after hospitals only to see slight recovery with the injury. My emotional response was on contemplating suicide when a couple of doctors told me that I would never be able to hit the gym again ever in my life. I attempted and was scared to proceed. They said I was done and the damage is for life and so is the pain. So, no gym ever again. That particular thought plunged into my brain and left a permanent damage in my heart. My soul was shattered and there I hit rock bottom instantaneously topped with depression.
Icing on that particular cake was too f*ckin sweetened. My stubbornly declining career held a meeting with me and told me that we’re gonna take another deep dive along with your injury. I asked what is this now? Life replied “a dessert is good after a main course”. Everything started falling apart and the same people who looked up to me for advice and all that started to repel. I still remember I used to go to work with a hoodie on. There wasn’t one day that I turned up at work without my hood on and I volunteered for nightshift, so that I don’t have to face many people. Fear, anxiety and everything else associated with it kicked in and it kicked in hard.
This was probably the transitional period of my life as I was begging god to please give me the fortitude to get my sh*t together. And then he was like “Sorry Son, I can’t help you here. Apparently, crap was more scattered than it seemed. Because I was living and battling my situation all alone and didn’t want any of my close ones to know about my elite life. Especially my family. Fighting my own sh*t all by myself gave me an extra edge of independency though. It was more than “crap hit the fan” as my life was taking another vacation down town to the rock bottom and so was my career. Colours of life of a repressed loner.
My injury was sort of getting recovered. And I started running again. Slowly and steadily the weights which is barbell, plates etc. started calling me. And I couldn’t say no to her smile. I had to be back on track. But the doctor’s advice was scaring me from time to time. I nerded everything and modelled a super robust plan which I kept it as a secret sauce till this day. And finally got answers to my quest. That’s I incorporated my formula and got a jacked physique. I went from 94 to 63 kgs with 5 or 6% body fat in less than 6 months. I shall give you the exact duration soon. I had no personal trainer no nutritionist no doctors no drugs no bragging not even supplements and I did this all natty. Because, if you ask 10 people for advice you always get 11 or more opinions and you’ll not know which one to choose and which one to let go. And that’s when I realised we all really really underestimate our body and our potential. Internet was one big place for contradictions. You don’t know which one is true and which isn’t. But they profess like its professional. Helped few people with what I knew. I helped them with certain kind of training to be incorporated and how to make lifestyle changes. Because I knew the secret recipe for losing my body fat. I had the proof. And maybe this is what the fitness industry don’t want you to know. Because once you learn to be lean and fit, they can’t get money from you anymore.

I tried my best to stay disciplined. But my situation won’t let me do it. Broke isn’t a new story. I had a big mortgage that vampired my pay-check and had bills to pay. Ironically, a bank officer with a Double Masters in Finance and Marketing going broke to the point of having no food for days and days wishing only if someone could buy me a meal, which would be a heavenly experience. I was too bloody embarrassed to ask anyone for a meal because I was working for a multinational corporation. And I was literally living on free crackers, free cookies and free coffee for weeks. The taste of any real food was so delicious that my eyes leaked when I tasted it. People at work possessed this under-developed mind of judging shit from the face value. Constant threat of me losing my job became common and I was living in fear. That constant fear was suicidal. Their reason and losing my job didn’t just add up. It was like you broke the glass bottle and you’ll be hung. It was super clear that they never wanted me there. They were coming up with reasons to get me out of the job. I was scared to death and anxious about my future. And the jobless situation tomorrow if I may have to face plus the starvation to complement the current condition was on a whole new level to battle this whole crap all by myself. It was a Perfect Marriage.
I took a master health check and the doctor told me by looking at the report. “I haven’t seen a 32 year old corporate guy with this kind of healthy numbers”. Surprising as it may seem. It was my secret sauce. I told to myself.

My boss and I had my annual performance meeting. As usual, I was bad and he was right. There was a sudden silence filled the room. Perhaps that was a calling. My boss was rapping jazz. I broke the silence retorting with these exact same words.
“Save the rap. Temporary failure doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a permanent defeat. You need a tank to take me down”. But all I could think of is.
Maybe I wasn’t meant for any of these.
Maybe I would have done something if I had a guardian angel.
May be the right mentor
May be if I had someone to teach me things, I’d have done things right.
But the real question is was I passionate about what I was doing. Was I on the right place? May be these are the questions that I really need to think and answer honestly. Rest all was just a blame game, noise and distractions. Perhaps excuses. It was my fault.
I thought to myself that I couldn’t / wouldn’t be able to do what I came here to do if I was doing what I was doing. At that point, one thing was for sure. That silence was a deep breath before the storm. The thought that crossed my mind was “I want to be the person whom I never had”. Today the world we live in is battling with over-weight or underweight. I can take a look at over weight problem because I have led the sedentary lifestyle which is suicidal and I wasn’t obese or overweight. I knew exactly what I should to keep myself more than fit. I was strong. Physically and mentally. No bragging. But a lot of people are not. If people knew what I knew, they’d be healthy. Really healthy. So I’ve decided to give my secret sauce that I’ve modelled and mastered over the past years.
Please join me in my journey with Lean Addict