A letter to some parents
The rule of comparability does not apply to people, especially your children. You cannot just go about comparing your children with those of your friends. I know that you will find some short-lived but uplifting joy when knowing your children are better than your friends’ are. But have you ever considered how your children and your friends’ would feel? Say, you come home after joining a friend gathering meeting in which you friends bragged so much about their children’s successful stories that you felt so down because you children don’t have many achievements yet. And you lash your anger out at your children, saying how useless they are if compared to your friends’, to which your children just stay silent.
It doesn’t and will never feel good to be compared. Even if one is better, there is always another who is slightly better than one is.
It hurts emotionally and psychologically.
You might not notice how it affects you children’s emotional and psychological health; perhaps this is due to your children’s complacent and passive nature, which has been deeply ingrained in them since they were young.
But mark my word, sooner or later, it will reach the point at which your children won’t be able to stay passive and complacent anymore. And when that time comes, you, sirs and madams, are in for a really big surprise, the sort-of-flying-into-your-face-out-of-blue one.
In case you don’t want to it happen, please accept my humble suggestion, and it goes as follows:
Stop comparing your children with your friends’, you don’t have the slightest idea of what kinds of emotional battles your children have been fighting… and how bad the scars they have had….
Isee, a Cambodian son.