It Takes Two to Tango
It’s been a little while since I last wrote something interesting (life’s been busy — so apologies if I’m a little rusty) but this is my fourth brain splurge responding to the wonderfully provocatibe Andra Oprișan and her equally provocative movement #BrandandBread. This time its clients, or more specifically the client-consultant relationship, that are in the cross-hairs…
My philosophy here is pretty simple; the client-consultant relationship is just that, a relationship. The client and the consultant roles exist only in relation to one another and in a particular context. The dynamic between them is undeniably co-created, defiantly relative, and thus inevitably unique.
The implication of that thought is that there is no absolute ‘right way to work’, there is only the approach that works in the present situation. However that doesn’t mean we as consultants shouldn’t have a preferred approach. Indeed it is in having a defined approach that our strength lies.
Let’s look at a parallel world to make it simpler. In psychotherapy there are three broad schools of thought; psycho-dynamic, cognitive-behavioural, and humanistic. Now we could argue for days about which of these approaches is ‘right’ or most effective, but countless studies have shown they are all equally effective. There is no absolute ‘right’ or ‘better’ way to do therapy.
Or rather, countless studies have shown that what matters most in the client-therapist relationship is not the approach used, but the appropriateness of the client-therapist relationship to the clients explicit expectations and underlying needs. In other words, the ‘right’ approach is the one that works in the current situation.
Jack of all trades, or master of one?
You might think that means that psychotherapist’s have a choice:
- To specialise in one approach accepting they won’t be right for every client but we’ll be perfect for roughly a third of them
- Or, to be a generalist able to adapt their approach to any given client and thus be perfect for everyone
But that’s not how it works.
Just as the approach has to work for the client, it too has to work equally for the therapist. That is the essence of co-creation; both parties create one dynamic together by taking their relative positions. If those positions (and intents) are approximate to one another, an effective relationship can be created and progress can be made. Together.
In other words in psychotherapy it is far more effective to be a master of one approach, than to dabble in all. And I would argue so it is also in consulting/strategy.
Self-Centricity
So to address the Andra and her write-up of the last #BrandandBread — it most definitely is about client-centricity, but I would argue not in the way discussed.
Yes, you should always start by listening to your clients expectations and needs, but you should also listen to your own and not be afraid to admit when the fit isn’t right. It’s not reasonable to expect your self to completely modify your approach, and the analogous evidence from the world of psychotheapy suggests that it isn’t even desirable. You can’t make effective progress practicing something you don’t believe in, just as you can’t make a client work in a way they don’t want to.
So, my advice to consultants (for what it’s worth) is to ask yourself:
- Do you consider yourself a Consultant — an expert expected to know the answer to the questions being thrown at you by your clients?
- Perhaps you consider yourself a Strategist — a problem solver able to find solutions on behalf of your clients?
- Or, do you consider yourself a Therapist — a facilitator supporting your clients as they seek the answers to their questions?
Any of the above is fine, as long as you can accept that your approach won’t be right for everyone. The only enduring factor across your work as a consultant is the philosophy with which you approach your work—be that fixed, flexible, or otherwise. Nothing else can be guaranteed. And that has to be ok, because it’s never been just about you or your client anyway. It has always been about creating an effective working relationship together. And as they say, it takes two to tango.
I feel I should finish this article by making one thing clear — I am not at all suggesting you should believe ‘your way’ is the only way that will work (quite the opposite in fact). However, I am saying that as a consultant you need to make peace with your preferred approach and not apologies for it. Your working relationship is a dialogue and that successful dialogue requires some shared rules and understandings — these are the foundation of any consultative approach. And all that really matters is that you and your client truly agree on these from the very start.
