Untie the Parlance to Shake Loose Some Comforting Vernacular
I’m making peace within myself, slowly, to be okay with being “bisexual”. It’s a weird idea. Am I straight when I’m with a man? Am I a lesbian when I’m with a woman? I don’t have answers for those questions. The largest enemy is also the biggest ally: words. Fucking semantics. I found out there were words like “hetero-romantic bisexual” and “homo-romantic lesbian”. My brain nearly exploded! You can google all the goods yourself to read more of the delicious combinations of words which may comfort you, too.
What in the hell is she saying? What I’m saying is that using the pronoun a person asks you to use is important. If a person calls herself a woman, you should do the same. If I tell you my name is Sam, and you call me “Samantha”, I’m going to go into a quiet rage. Be respectful of how another person identifies, especially if you were lucky enough to have already figured your own stuff out. When you have rights, it’s easier to be blind to others who do not. I love words. I’m not a writer, but I do feel like I have something to say. So, I will leave you with a link full of odd words I find pleasing and humorous.

A list of people, things, shows, etc. that have helped me realize that I am extremely gay…yet, also straight?
- The Robin Hood (1973)

2. Ani DiFranco (any and all albums)

3. The Little Mermaid (Yes, BOTH Ariel AND Eric)
4. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

5. Pump Up the Volume

6. Foxfire starring Angelina Jolie

7. Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown

8. Willow on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

9. Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer


10. Kate McKinnon
Honorable and Sexy Mentions:
Margaret Cho, Ewan McGregor, Scar-Jo (I’m not made of steel, people), Jada Pinkett, Jillian Bell, and James McAvoy.
These aren’t based on sex appeal alone. I find them attractive based on bodies of work, interviews, standup, and extra points for style. This was just a list of feel goodery. Naming my attractions gives me a little more power. I can examine what parts of a person make them sexy. McKinnon is the easiest to dissect what draws me into her. She makes me laugh. She is unapologetically herself. She knows what she is about. She keeps expanding her comedic limits to challenge herself. She isn’t afraid to be “ugly” or appear unattractive for a role. Kate McKinnon doesn’t come off as the type of woman who would ever coast on her stunning looks. She’s too great of an actor to be simply some lesbian sex icon. She is confident in her abilities. I don’t know what she is like outside of the Hollywood gaze, but I wish I did. I’d ask her all kinds of questions about the patriarchy while we braided each other’s hair.
I’ve always had crushes on men and women. I think it’s okay. I’m not yet, but I’m getting there. In the meantime, I’m going to keep trying to figure out what it is that I love about certain characters. Where is the attraction? It’s never been all physical to me. There are so many complex bits and bobbles that make up what is considered, well, “hot”. This goes all ouroboros because what I call “hot” might be your cold. You might call me a confused straight girl. I might tell you I’m trying to own my bisexuality as a woman. Trying. They may only seem like little words, but their intentions are paramount. I don’t like trying to label myself, but there is a kind of euphoria that one gets from discovering their definitions.
