The Love Letters I Won’t Send

Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

Person 1: I know you, or I should say, knew you, better than I know myself. Or, I should say, better than I knew myself; without you, I’m not sure I do anymore. You were my first love. That’s why I didn’t know what it meant for a relationship to be toxic. So we loved without borders between us, even though the entire state of Oregon has always been between you and me. Will you marry me someday? Yes. Will you love me forever? Yes. What will our first child be named? Autumn.

Person 2: Some days, I really hate you. But even on the days that I hate you, I love you anyway. I cheated on you once and you called me a whore. I think you hated me for a while. I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn’t do to take it back. I hate that you protected me from myself even though I was such a whore. You deserved better and we both knew it.

Person 3: You are the constant in my life right now. You’re the one who says “I love you.” No matter what. I love you too. I love how perfectly unaffected you are. I know what it feels like to be broken, and you’re the least broken person to love me in a long time. You can talk sense into me even when I’m hurting. Do you know how hard that is? It’s a gift. You are a gift.

Person 4: We’re friends now. That’s okay because I see the way you look at her. Besides, how can I complain when I was the one who ended it?

Person 5: Sometimes I just don’t know with you. Sometimes… I just don’t know you anymore.

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