Looking for Your Purpose in Life? Don’t Stress it!
We put too much pressure on ourselves about finding our mission and true purpose in life. It’s been a topic I’ve been asked to discuss lately and thought I should share a few thoughts on this. It seems to me that finding your purpose and building a meaningful life has somehow become a new way adding stress and pressure to our lives.
Many people are approaching it like a new list item on the to do list of life:
1. Get healthy (er) 2. Have a fulfilling career 3. Get married 4. Find a true purpose in life 5. … etc
…….You get the idea! Good news…. you can relax! That is nonsense — don’t do that to yourself!
There doesn’t have to be this one thing we are told to find!! We can be good and inspired by a great variety of things. What give us a sense of purpose in our twenties might not inspire us in our thirties, fourties or fifties.
Feel free to change your mind anytime! Remember this:
Finding your true purpose and with it some form of life balance is a myth!
I swing by ‘balance’ on a good day. Why? Because I’m busy moving and grooving with what life has to offer — and it is never steady or balanced. My life is real. It is flawed, vibrant, cracked and beautiful. It is balanced with missteps, mistakes and good judgments. It is full of joy, heartbreak, and true pleasure.
Life is full of unexpected surprises. If we cling to the idea of balance we are holding onto a rigid myth. It’s smarter to just roll with it. Allow yourself to be in awe about what life can have to offer.
Personally, I do not believe in lifestyle balance — I aim to be calm and level headed. I follow what feeds my spirit. I trust that what elevates me will elevate others. I am open to opportunities and present to the people in my life. Operating from that place brings me joy, excitement and true pleasure. And believe me — this does not exempt me from trials and tribulations. There is no easy button in life. There is only a choice to either participate in life’s passing dramas or to invest in an open mind and loving heart.
Honestly, chasing happiness is overrated — there is no point and it has no real value. Happiness is the result of being in line with who we are and what we are called to do in this lifetime. It’s a side effect — not the ultimate goal.
And lastly, keep in mind that finding your purpose does not grow out of a needy feeling to serve. We cannot serve from a place designed to fill a void. We are much more effective when we let ourselves be driven by a deep sense of abundance and a conviction we are in integrity with our soul. This form of drive has an electric charge that can make you do something others might feel is impossible.
Here are the 9 things I choose to live by:
- Go inwards. Don’t run around chasing opportunities and evaluating options. Go inwards and listen. The right steps, people and choices will reveal themselves and you will intuitively know you to respond to them.
- Feel good about yourself and your life! Follow expansive energy. Drop what makes you feel contracted. You will reach your goals more easily if it doesn’t feel like an uphill battle all the time.
- Lean into discomfort. Learn how to tackle the hard stuff. Stuff you resist will uncomfortably persist. Avoiding issues is an opportunity cost.
- Learn to ignore stuff. Ignore everything that is irrelevant, distracting or negative. Design your life based on discernment of information flow. Selective ignorance is bliss.
- Get NAKED. Put yourself out there. Share thoughts, ideas and wisdom. If you don’t talk about it, nobody can offer help. Don’t be afraid of exposing yourself.
- You don’t have to have the answers. It’s never about the answers — it’s all about the questions. Questions lead to more questions. That’s how you find your way.
- Follow your charge and synchronicity. It’s a natural drive that opens doors with ease. Even frustration and anxiety will translate into excitement if you operate from that place.
- Don’t be afraid of silence. It is merely a pause in between what was and what comes next. The pause is the creative change agent. Give it space to unfold.
- Drop the ball. Shake it up. Try breaking some rules every now and then. Let stuff fall apart. Pick up what continues to serve you — leave the rest behind. You might find you were clinging to what is holding you back.
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Lots of love,