Preface

I’ll start this off by saying this might be one of my most embarrassing endeavours. It’s made worse by the fact that I’m not even sure this is a good idea. This will be overly personal, pretty dramatic, and the chances that anyone’s really going to care are abysmal. I think that’s why this is the perfect platform for this, then. There’s something therapeutic about yelling all of this into an online void. Writing these stories into a physical notebook would, in a way, literally give them weight, which is the opposite of what I need. I need catharsis.

The other day I received news from my ex that was, for lack of a better word, shattering. We dated three times over the course of six years; the relationships were very intense and so were the breakups, so I’m used to being devastated by interactions with her. This news was more than that, though, and I realize now that I should put some actual work in to getting over her.

Which is why, of course, the best thing for me to do is to share memories of the relationship, good and bad, online. Obviously.

The thing is, though, that the more I think about it the more I honestly think, maybe it is a good idea. Since I’ve dated her so many times before I’m sure my friends have said all they can say to help me and are tired of hearing me talk about her. I want to be tired of talking about her, too. I want to oversaturate my writing with our relationship to the point that thinking about it becomes a chore. I need a purge. I don’t regret the relationship, but I’m getting too old to be constantly thinking about it and need to put it the fuck to rest, once and for all.

This project is inspired a lot by G. E. Gogarty’s “Times I Made My Ex-BF Cry” comics, a little by Dakota McFadzean’s “The Dailies”, very much so by “D.C. Pierson Is Bad At Girls: A Storytelling Show”, and especially by Erin McGathy’s “This Feels Terrible” podcast. Hopefully anyone who thinks this is a horrible idea for a blog can look at those four things and go, “Well, I guess it makes sense”. (I know I’ll be doing that…) I don’t know how long each of these stories should be, but I think I’ll aim for three posts a week until the end of December. Who knows if I’ll stick to that schedule? Worse comes to worst, I delete all of this shit and then have nothing to show for my time but some practice in writing and a new found sense of humility.

And if you, the “you” all of this is about, are reading this — and I don’t know why you would be — then I’m sorry. For a lot of things, I am sorry.