Make This Thanksgiving Holiday Different And Better
This week is the official start of the holiday season with Thanksgiving. We all know there are great things to this special holiday and then there’s the stress. As wonderful as it is to be with family and friends, sometimes around those dinner tables, there can be heated debate and tension. However, I’m asking you to consider making this Thanksgiving different.
This year my father and my dear sister, Jan, are no longer with us. I’ve also lost several friends. Needless to say, it’s been a difficult year.
Perhaps you’ve lost someone too, be it through death, divorce or distance. This Thanksgiving, that person will not be joining you around the holiday table. And, maybe the loss is so final that you’ll never hear their voice again.
Here’s what I’m asking you to consider this Thanksgiving.
- Greet with an open heart: As you begin to gather wherever you’ll be for this Thanksgiving, as you meet and acknowledge every person, be present in the exchange. Look into each person’s eyes. What is their eye color? If you don’t know it, you didn’t look well enough. Connect with them. Listen to the sound of their voice. Be aware of his or her handshake, cheek or embrace. Let that person become a part of your memory.
- Remember the departed: It doesn’t matter how you lost someone who may never share the holiday with you again. Take a brief moment to remember him or her. You know, David M. Eagleman once wrote about the three deaths, “There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.” Keep someone’s memory alive.
- Create a memory: We don’t take anything with us when we leave. As much as we all may love our great houses, the new car and the clothes, none of that matters. We don’t take it with us. And, when we’re old or sick, I have yet to hear someone talk about his or her work or possessions. What I do hear are memories. Those memories are what we hold dear at the end and what we leave behind when we’re no longer present. So, make sure to create a memory. If you have little ones, give them something to hold and remember of you. That’s a gift.
- Be mindful of your good fortune: As you start to take your chair at the dinner table, be aware of how much you have. Be grateful. As you sit to eat your golden turkey with gravy and all the trimmings, someone else in the world is not as fortunate as you. Perhaps you may not have what you think is a lot or maybe you have too much. Either way, you probably have more than most — be it riches, friends, family, peace, love or understanding.
- Be present at the dinner table: Hey, it happens to most of us. At some point, your uncle, aunt or opinionated friend will begin to take the oxygen out of the room in a heated debate. It’s easy to mentally check out during those times. Here’s my advice. Don’t. Remember, you may disagree with that person. You may even have the strength and energy to get involved in the discussion and try to prove a point. Or, you may try to be the peacemaker. But, whether or not you choose to engage, be grateful that your opinionated uncle or aunt is with you. Be grateful to hear their voice and see their energy in action.
Wishing all a very peaceful and bountiful Thanksgiving holiday!
Wayne is the author of “Not Your Father’s Charity: Be Bold, Dominate and Succeed in Marketing For Today’s Digital World On A Limited Budget”.
© 2015 Wayne Elsey and Not Your Father’s Charity. All Rights Reserved.